One bad boy
by Noodlejelly
Summary: Who is this tall dark rugged man at Kings Cross station? No other than Harry Potter, he’s sick and tired of been pushed around and he’s out to show everyone that the term bad boy was invented for him. Hogwarts and Hermione will never know what hit it
1. Dudley, Draco, Discussions

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling  
  
A/N: Ok before you all shout at me and tell me Harry would never do this, I know, I really do. This is just a bit of harmless fun, it's like Harry finally gets everything he deserves and everyone else gets his or her comeuppance, especially Malfoy  
  
Who is this tall dark rugged man at Kings Cross station? No other than Harry Potter, he's sick and tired of been pushed around and he's out to show everyone that the term bad boy was invented for him. Hogwarts and Hermione will never know what hit it  
  
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With shaking hands Harry reached into his bag and drew out a small vial, casting furtive looks to each side of him to make sure no-one was watching he took a deep breath and poured the contents of the vial down his throat and swallowed quickly. After a few minutes of dizziness Harry shook his head and stood up slowly feeling better than he had done for years, with a slight grin he moved towards the doorway, he had a lot to do in the next 2 months.  
  
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The young man entering Kings Cross station was somebody who made you look twice, he was over six foot tall, spiky black hair that framed his face perfectly and a stray strand that kept getting in his eyes. People who were close enough to this man could see his eyes and were amazed by their brilliant greenness and a rather strange lightning shaped scar on his forehead.  
  
This was a seventeen year old Harry Potter, he had replaced his glasses with contacts and after working out all summer had bought some new clothes to go with his new image. He was wearing black boots, dark blue jeans and a tight white sleeveless top, he had a black leather jacket slung carelessly over his shoulder as he looked around impatiently as though waiting for somebody.  
  
That somebody came scurrying up panting heavily and lugging a trunk full of luggage as well as an owl which was hooting indignantly in a cage,  
  
'Get a move on Dudley' Harry looked annoyed and suddenly shoved Dudley into a wall, the fat boy screamed in horror and closed his eyes, when he opened them he found an amused Harry at his side and a station full of people staring at him. He held out the owl cage silently  
  
'Ok place it over there' Harry indicated as he leant lazily against a nearby wall and amused himself by watching Dudley struggle with the trunk, he knew that everyone was watching them but didn't do anything about it  
  
'Done. Can I go now?' Dudley waddled back to where Harry was stood,  
  
'Of course you can, tell Vern I say hi' Harry didn't even bother looking at Dudley instead he played with the necklace round his neck which had a small lion hanging from it  
  
'He told you not to call him Vern' Dudley said sulkily  
  
'Which is the very reason for me doing it, now trot along and make sure you don't get stuck in the door' Harry said nastily as Dudley glowered at him but backed away afraid of what Harry might do  
  
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'Why it's my favourite mudblood and Weasel' Draco said with a sneer as he entered the carriage where Ron and Hermione had found seats, for once Crabbe and Goyle weren't shadowing his every move  
  
'Shove off Malfoy' Ron looked up with such a vicious glare that most people would have run, but Draco merely smiled  
  
'Now that's not very nice, I'd be careful there's no Potter here to save you' Draco warned them after realising that Harry was indeed missing from the carriage, he had hoped to curse Harry but annoying Hermione and Ron would do for the moment until he found Crabbe and Goyle  
  
'Please leave now Malfoy' Hermione said trying to keep her voice level and calm even though Draco seemed to have every intention of staying there all day  
  
'I don't think so, I'm rather interested to know where Potter is, has he finally realised that he could never beat me?' Draco leant back to rest against the wall of the carriage with his arms folded and a very smug smirk on his face as though he owned the entire train  
  
'No, he's stood right behind you waiting for you to do what you've been asked and leave' a deep voice growled from the doorway  
  
'Potter, I really don't think…' Draco began to say but stopped as he had spun round and seen the size of the man standing behind him, Harry blocked the entire doorway with his frame and had his arms folded in a very threatening manner, his eyebrow was raised and he had a smirk on his face  
  
'That's right Malfoy, you don't think. Now leave before I make you' Harry took a step forward and enjoyed the worried look on Draco's voice, Ron and Hermione had looks of disbelief on their faces that this was the same best friend who they had last seen 2 months ago  
  
'You can't do that, as it happens I'm leaving anyway but we will continue this later' Draco found his voice and tried to regain his superiority but his voice was very noticeably wavering as he stepped rather gingerly past Harry and with one last look of mingled disbelieve and loathing he left, presumable to find his bodyguards  
  
'Wonderful I wanted a light snack before lunch' Harry bared his teeth aggressively at Draco's back absolutely terrifying a lost first year who saw him, he turned back with a slight smile on his face to see his two best friends looking rather confused  
  
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After exchanging rather mute hellos there was a silence in the carriage, Harry was waiting for Ron or Hermione to speak first, Ron was wondering how his friend had grown so much and Hermione was looking Harry up and down with a open mouth  
  
'We heard this really wild rumour that Dudley was carrying your trunk for you' Hermione said finally in a rather faint voice as she tried to keep her eyes off Harry, she had to admit he looked rather attractive. Actually who was she trying to kid, he had always been rather attractive, but now he was drop-dead gorgeous  
  
'It was true' Harry said with a slight smile, Ron and Hermione had clearly not believed the rumour when they heard it  
  
'Why would he do that?' Ron asked looking rather confused  
  
'I just said that I might feel the need to take Vern's new car out for a spin if darling Dudders didn't help me'. Harry smirked as he remembered the look on Dudley's face when Vernon had ordered him to help Harry, it had been yet another high point in his very enjoyable summer of making the Dursley's lives hell  
  
'I didn't know you could drive' Hermione looked surprised, Harry was only just old enough to take a test and she didn't know where he would have got his own car from to learn in  
  
'I can't' Harry said and the look of confusion crossed over Hermione's face 'well not legally'  
  
'Bloody brilliant' Ron exclaimed in admiration, Hermione looked as though she wanted to tell him off for breaking the law but thought better of it.  
  
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As the train approached Hogwarts Hermione finally worked up the courage to ask the question that had quite clearly been on her mind since she first saw Harry, it was clear because for once Hermione had been rather quiet in the conversation and had instead stared at Harry's chest for a almost the entire journey. Ron and Harry hadn't even noticed because Ron had been inquiring as to how to hot-wire a car like Harry had done with the Dursley's  
  
'So what's with the new body?' Hermione asked trying to sound casual and failing rather miserably  
  
'Lifting weights every day and running, got to keep in shape somehow'  
  
'And the new clothes?' Hermione had to admit that he had great taste in clothes that even Parvati would be admiring  
  
'I exchanged some of my money and went shopping' Harry explained with a large yawn  
  
'And the new attitude?'  
  
'That just comes naturally' Harry grinned cockily as he leant back in his seat with his arms behind his head and his legs stretched over onto the opposite seat and dozed for the rest of the journey to Hogwarts  
  
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A/N: This was a short introduction to my story, whether I continue or not will depend on reviews, if there's ever anyone who you think Harry should get back then tell me (Voldemort will figure in this story). That was the first of many Draco/Harry fights, I still can't decide whether to have H/H romance or just flirting. Anyway if you review then the next chapter will contain lessons, so watch out Snape, Harry's not going to taking any prisoners 


	2. Snape oh Snape

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Harry Potter, because J.K.Rowling would never do this to him

A/N: Who is this tall dark rugged man at Kings Cross station? No other than Harry Potter, he's sick and tired of been pushed around and he's out to show everyone that the term bad boy was invented for him. Hogwarts and Hermione will never know what hit it 

Wow that was more reviews than I ever hoped for, I'm not sure that they were all complimentary but I appreciate them just the same. The general theme I got from them was that a lot of you wanted H/H romance and quite a few wanted a love triangle with Draco, which was an interesting idea so I'll consider it. Anyway replies to every single individual review (yes I do mean every single one even though half of the people who reviewed probably hated it and didn't bother coming back) are at the bottom of the story.

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After the train journey Harry, Hermione and Ron shared a horseless carriage up to the castle, they arrived at Hogwarts and Harry was being pointed and stared at just like in his first year, they managed to reach the entrance hall before somebody stopped them

'Harry' a girl squealed, Hermione and Ron turned to watch in amazement as Parvati Patil came flying down the stairs towards Harry

'How are you?' Lavender came over smiling extremely brightly to join her best friend Parvati

'I can't believe you never wrote to me' Cho appeared from nowhere to join a fast expanding group of girls around Harry. Ron and Hermione were pushed to the side almost right up against the wall

'I must say I love this new look, Lavender and I always said that you would look great in the right clothes' Parvati said as she fingered the edge of Harry's leather jacket which he was now wearing

'But this is more than even we could have hoped for' Lavender said as all the girls around her nodded in agreement, Ron could just make out another redhead in the group which must be Ginny

'You must tell us where you shop' Lavender was saying, Harry finally seemed to realise that he was attracting girls like honey attracts bees and looked round in surprise, it was almost as though he hadn't even heard them approach. Harry didn't seem flustered just amused as he spotted Ron and Hermione over a crowd of heads

'I'm so sorry girls but I have to go now' Harry said as he attempted to push through the crowd to reach his best friends, however the girls stood firm pleading with Harry to stay for just a few more minutes

'What do you think of my nails?' Parvati asked as she thrust her bright green nails in Harry's face in a desperate attempt to get Harry's attention. Ron was now shaking with laughter but nobody was paying him any attention, Hermione had a rather strange look on her face as Harry stopped and looked closely at Parvati's upheld hand

'They're fake' Harry said clearly as he dropped Parvati's hand and very firmly walked past all the girls to where Ron and Hermione were waiting, he walked silently next to Hermione as a chorus of groans broke out behind them by disappointed girls that hadn't managed to get Harry's attention. However they were already making new plans, especially Parvati who planned to have serious words with her manicurist 

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Harry had unpacked and changed into his robes but he still looked the same, the only difference was that his body couldn't be seen quite as well, which only added to the mysterious air around him. It was now early evening and he was feeling rather hungry as he headed to the Great Hall for dinner with Hermione and Ron, but no sooner had he entered the hall than he saw an unwelcome sight 

'Potter, we meet again' Draco said, he had by now found Crabbe and Goyle who were as usual flanking him, he seemed a lot more confident now that he had his bodyguards back 

'Unfortunately' Harry said shortly as he attempted to walk past Draco

'What no big man talk anymore?' Draco asked mockingly

'Why waste it on you and the goon squad?' Harry inquired with a sneer, Draco flushed slightly which stood out in contrast to his pale skin 

'You might think you're suddenly big and hard with your new clothes, but you don't scare me' Draco said with a sneer of his own to match. Ron and Hermione stood watching next to Harry unsure as to what to do, Ron wanted to jump in a punch Draco, while Hermione was considering the amount of house points that could be lost if Harry started fighting 

'Then you must be even stupider than you look' Harry said with a short harsh laugh, which sounded strange coming from him. There was now a fairly large crowd watching them, the people outside the hall were craning over each other to see who was holding them up and the people already in the hall had stopped talking to watch with interest 

'Let's get one thing clear Potter. There's one bad boy round here and that's me, so give up this stupid pretence. Don't talk the talk if you can't walk the walk' Draco said as he drew himself up to his full height which was still shorter than Harry and took a step forward into Harry's space in what was definitely intended as a threatening gesture. Harry narrowed his eyes and glared at Draco for almost a full minute in silence, Draco had taken a few steps backwards presumably thinking that Harry wouldn't have a good reply 

'Malfoy you should watch yourself, this isn't a game for little boys' Harry hissed, as he took a large stride forwards so he was right in front of Draco, Draco took an involuntary step backwards in surprise. Harry then took another large step forwards and Draco took another few steps back, fear was now in his eyes about what Harry was going to do especially because Crabbe and Goyle appeared not to have realised he needed some help. 'So I would advise crawling back to that hole you came out of' Harry finished with another stride which caused Draco to topple backwards into the edge of the Hufflepuff table sending students scattering in fear of a fight. But Harry simply smirked at Draco whose breathing seemed a bit too fast as he glared back and walked over to the Gryffindor table 

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'Potter, don't turn up late for my lesson and then disrupt the class by talking' Snape glared at Harry, ho had walked into the first Potions lesson of the year about ten seconds late and while Snape was writing on the board Harry had being asking Ron if he had seen his Transfiguration book. Snape had seen this as an excellent opportunity to tell Harry off 

'Why not?' Harry asked staring intently at Snape who at first looked slightly taken back at somebody talking back to him in the very first lesson of the year and then looked furious that it had being Harry

'Because I said so. Now tell me what I would get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood? Where would I find a bezoar? And what's the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?' Snape said all that very quickly making nearly all the class look confused and worried that they might be asked something like that

'You actually want me to answer that?' Harry asked incredulously, Hermione looked like she wanted to tell everyone the proper answer and what book she had read it in, Malfoy was smirking 

'Yes Potter, I expect you can't even work out what I'm talking about, it's a shame brains didn't come with this new look of yours' Snape drawled looking rather proud of himself, Malfoy was now laughing out loud happy in the thought that Harry would be shown up 

'I just thought those questions were a bit of a beginner level, but if you insist I'll tell you the answers. Asphodel and wormwood make the Draught of Living Death. The bezoar is taken from a goat's stomach to save you from poisons. And monkshood and wolfsbane are the same plant' Harry said very calmly and clearly, Snape hadn't expected this and looked rather surprised which was quickly replaced by a look of pure hatred as he spat

'10 points from Gryffindor, now turn to page…' 

'Stop' Harry commanded as Snape turned back to the board and the rest of the class started flicking through their books, as they registered what Harry everybody stopped working and stared at Harry and then at Snape to see what his reaction would be

'What did you just say?' Snape had had his back turned when Harry spoke but turned very slowly to see if a student had really just told him what to do

'I told you to stop, we hadn't finished our conversation. Why did you take points from Gryffindor?' Harry asked without even a waver in his voice even though Snape was looking at him with such hatred that any other student would have fled long ago

'Because you were been a cheeky know-it-all' Snape said in a very slimily smooth voice as he tried to calm himself down, killing Harry Potter would not look good on his teaching resume 

'You can't do that' Harry had no intention of giving up his point

'You have no right to tell me what I can and what I cannot do' 

'I happen to have a copy of the school rules and rule 131A clearly states that no student shall ever lose points for been right, I will take this to the headmaster if I have to and we both knew which side he'll take, so give the points back' Harry said as he produced a thick book with the title 'Every school rule ever made'. Most students looked stunned that there were actually rules let alone a book full of them, Snape had no idea where Harry would have got a copy from, and only Dumbledore had the entire list of rules. Snape's mind was racing, he couldn't afford to get into trouble with the headmaster on the first day of term especially over Harry on the other hand he hadn't ever given points to Gryffindor in his life and didn't want to start 

'Fine ten points to Gryffindor, now sit down Mr. Potter' Snape spat, Harry smirked very deliberately at him as he sat down to looks of admiration from Gryffindors. Snape did of course try and re-establish his reputation by taking points off Gryffindor for just breathing too loud, by the end of the lesson Gryffindor were down 47 points and Slytherin up 50. However Harry just smirked each time Snape took points off, which had the desired effect of infuriating Snape even more. Because everybody knew that the damage had already been done, Harry had shown Snape up in the very first lesson of the year and now Snape would never be looked at in quite the same way ever again

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Ron and Harry were late for dinner that evening because they had been writing a letter to Ron's mother trying to explain why he had left his handmade sweater at home (the real reason was that Ron had deliberately hidden it behind the sofa). So Hermione after refusing to play any part in what she called shameless lying had gone to dinner by herself, unfortunately her ex-boyfriend of last year Ernie Macmillan had chosen that same day to try and win her back 

'Hermione I got these for you' Ernie Macmillan held out a box of chocolates of extremely expensive looking chocolates, Hermione couldn't ignore him by eating her tea because the chocolates were right in front of her face

'It's over Ernie, you know that already' Hermione said as firmly as she could, she had caught Ernie kissing Hannah Abbot and considering she hadn't really liked Ernie to begin with she had thought it a good time to dump him

'But you won't even hear my reason' Ernie said sounding remarkable like a spoiled toddler as he dropped the chocolates onto the table

'I don't want to hear excuses'

'But just give me a chance' Ernie pleaded, just at that moment Harry who had left Ron to owl the letter by himself walked into the hall and swung himself into the chair next to Hermione

'Ooo chocolates' Harry saw the chocolates and leant over to pick a handful up and tried them 'Ergh disgusting, they're cheap ones'

'Hey' Ernie squeaked indignantly, he looked like he was about to say more as Harry gave a very forced swallow of the chocolates with a disgusted look on his face but thought better of it when Harry looked around in surprise having not noticed Ernie when he sat down

'Oh it's you Macmillan, are you the one who cheated on Herm?' Harry said in a very cold voice

'But I can explain' Ernie said very feebly as he took a few steps away from Harry who was now looking at Ernie with the type of loathing usually reserved for Draco Malfoy

'Run now and don't stop running until you reach your table' Harry said slowly and quietly as he turned and stood up again, towering over Ernie who ran away with a frightened squeak

'Harry I could have taken care of it myself' Hermione said looking very annoyed at Harry interfering, she was actually rather relieved because Ernie would be too terrified to even speak to her for months but she was very sure that threatening people wasn't the best way of dealing with anything

'Of course you could, but now he'll leave you alone and you have free chocolates' Harry said in his normal voice as he sat back down and began to eat his meal calmly 

'I thought you said they were disgusting' Hermione said rather suspiciously as Harry very innocently drank his pumpkin juice, he put his drink down and turned to face Hermione smiling wickedly as he whispered in her ear

'I lied' 

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A/N: I think this chapter length of about 3000 words will be maintained for most of my story, hope it's long enough, I wrote this when I was meant to be revising so I really would appreciate you reviewing. If you reviewed the last chapter then my reply is here, none of them are meant to offend or insult in any way, I'm just in a rather stressed mood with exams 

Riana – Is 'whoa' good or bad? Either way thanks for reviewing

PRONGZ - I agree with Sirius been first, but did u see the guy playing James in the movie because that really made him look like a complete geek

Firecat – Er is that a good thing or not?

EnoimreH – He's much more fun to write like this, besides he can still be modest in a weird sort of way

C.W.S. Matthews – Thank you, you were the first person to actually request H/H, its much appreciated

Ravenclawgirly – I love the grease look, but punk would be interesting, not sure how I'd do that though but if you want to suggest some ways to do it then I'll try and incorporate them later on

AnnaDoyle – Thank you

Nari-chan – I think H/H but I'm still not certain, however it won't be slash

Nicky – You're the only person to notice the potion, more will be revealed later on

Lunatyme – swoon means a fainting fit: a sleep – to faint: to be languorous, give a feeling of fainting. I'm just a fountain of useful knowledge. OK I just looked it up in Chambers Twentieth Century Dictionary but it was rather funny, thanks for the review

Aaliyah-potter – I do intend for Harry to beat Draco up but I'm not sure about Draco hitting on Hermione, interesting idea though

Satan's Little Princess – Thanks

Stoneheart – Hermione will be a strong character, I loved your review it was funny

Tomoyo – Hermione has changed just not as much as Harry, but differences will be noticeable mainly the flirting

Mindgames – Unless I suddenly get hundreds of reviews against H/H it will be H/H in this story

Achilles – I agree with all three of your points, especially that all pairings but H/H are terrible lies told by desperate people. LOL

E1 – It was fun to write, because Harry can just get revenge on everyone in the books that I don't like (e.g. random Slytherins, Draco, more Slytherins, Snape, yet more Slytherins and just wait for the Dursleys turn)

Enille – I intend to write lots more and feel free to make suggestions if you want Harry to get even with anyone

Maggie-san – Thank you so much your review was lovely

Legacy – I've never heard of Final Fantasy so I can't comment on any resemblance's. But Hermione will definitely not be a groupie, she will remain strong and if u see any signs of groupiness from her alert me immediately and it will be changed

Applepie – There will be H/H flirting but it probably will develop into something more, sorry

Honest Deception – I am leaning very strongly towards the H/H

En shoe – There is a reason for Harry being out of character that will be revealed later, but Harry will be nice to Ron, Hermione and most other people except Slytherin's and other annoying characters (i.e. characters I don't like) 

Silver Dragonrider – Harry did drink something and that something will be revealed later when I decide to have an actual plot to my story

Name – Thanks

Evil666 – ok that's the 10th review directly asking for H/H, so I now feel compelled to make it H/H at some point in the near future (well not too long)

Paperdoll – I like his hair, did u see the guy playing Harry in the film? His hair worried me especially because it was brown not black

Riana – The cherry has tempted me to write more quickly so as soon as I read your review I updated, customer satisfaction is something I'm obviously finally learning 

Kelz – This chapter showed Snape, next will be McGonagall, Flitwick will be shown soon as well as Hooch and Hagrid, you'll have to wait a little longer to see Dumbledore's real reaction, part of my plot ideas 

Did I mention please review? :)


	3. Jokes, flirting and closets Can this rea...

Disclaimer: Still don't own any of the characters

A/N: Let me start by saying THANK YOU for every single review, they mean a lot for me

Ok once again I think some of those reviews were flames, the main concern seemed to be that Harry was too OOC and that there wasn't a plot. But explanations can be expected around chapter 7, after that Harry's world won't seem so wonderful anymore and it will start to fall apart, but until then enjoy Harry been a bad boy because it won't last. Yes I do have ideas for a proper plot and yes it does revolve around the potion

And about Hermione she's not the hottest girl in school but she's still quite pretty, you know average teenager really, she should still be in character just a bit more grown up and relaxed over the years as this chapter should show, but feel free to suggest ways to make characters more like themselves (with the exception of Harry, who is obviously meant to be out of character)

Coming up will be funny encounters with Lucius Malfoy, Voldemort and a few other characters, however after a few revelations about Harry's summer in later chapters, Harry will change slightly allowing explanations and hopefully less flame like reviews. After Harry's change he'll see the same characters again only with a different attitude

So to sum up that rambling speech: 

1.For about the first five chapters' bad boy Harry gains vengeance against a vast number of characters including both Malfoys, some teachers, and to a much lesser extent Voldemort and a couple of deatheaters 

2.Then things start to go wrong for Harry, mood swings and excessive violence kind of sum up about 3 chapters, until somebody talks sense into Harry and he explains all 

3.The new Harry then re meets all previous characters and has to deal with them in a manner more like his old self (although he keeps the 

new look and flirting style) and Voldemort becomes more important 

Draco, Ron and Hermione are all constant factors in this story, sometimes been more important than at others and Draco won't be quite as wimpy as he is at the moment in later chapter, the Hermione romance story will run throughout all chapters

The most important thing to remember is that this is a humorous story and shouldn't be taken too seriously, so of course you will have to suspend belief to read some things like the Snape conversation but it is still funny 

Special note for fans of Draco bashing: There will be an extra special chapter especially for you where a duel takes place (may not be quite what you're thinking) but rest assured Draco will be shown up and shown up badly. Further details will be available closer to the time (I'm thinking somewhere around chapter 8 – 10)

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'Harry this bad boy look really suits you' Pansy Parkinson blocked Harry's way out of the hall after dinner on Thursday, Ron who had been walking next to Harry had been completely shoved out of the way and wasn't happy about it as he rubbed his arm which had hit the wall

'Pansy do you want something?' Harry asked very coldly as he was forced to come to a complete stop, he wasn't amused that Pansy had practically beaten Ron up to get to him and had no intention of staying around for too long when Hermione was waiting for them in the common room

'Just to say that if you ever want a good time I'm available' Pansy moved very close to Harry who looked disgusted and backed away 

'Parkinson I'm not interested, however if you want to make some money I've heard that the local brothel is recruiting, you'll fit in perfectly' Harry snapped in annoyed tones, it was bad enough Gryffindor girls forming their own fan club (Parvati was the founder) but when deatheaters in training came on to him it was terrible

'Draco would never say that to me' Pansy looked highly affronted and turned her nose up

'Well scurry back to him, you suit each other' Harry sneered as Ron laughed, Pansy glared at them both before leaving to try and seduce some other poor fool, the most likely victim was Draco

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The next day Ron and Hermione were walking back from the library together after lessons on Wednesday when 'Ronniekins' was shouted by somebody very loudly and echoed through the halls of the school, Ron froze as though turned to stone as he recognised the voice

'Fred why are you here?' Hermione asked realising that Ron didn't seem capable of uttering coherent speech to his elder brother 

'Yeah Fred why are you here?' George appeared out of nowhere at Fred's side grinning stupidly

'I came with you idiot' Fred said rolling his eyes

'Oh yeah' George was still grinning very goofily at everybody

'So why are you both here?' Ron asked suspiciously after glaring silently at his twin brothers for a few minutes

'We have heard many wild rumours circulating around Hogsmede and decided that we should investigate' Fred explained in his best detective voice

'What wild rumours?' Hermione asked in surprise, she thought that she would hear all rumours first due to the fact she shared a dormitory with Parvati and Lavender

'About our dear old friend Harry Potter' George said with the grin still firmly in place

'He's playing Quidditch at the moment' Ron said, as long as Fred and George didn't try and play a prank on him he was happy to help them

'Then to the Quidditch pitch we must go' Fred yelled as he led the way. 

They arrived at the Quidditch pitch a few minutes later and saw that the Gryffindor team was still practising high up in the air, Harry had become captain in his fifth year and was known for working the team almost as hard as Wood

'So which one's Harry?' George asked after staring at the team in silence for a few minutes, they were all a blur of red

'The one on the broom' Ron said helpfully

'I gathered that', George said sarcastically. 'Wait they're coming down' he squinted as the team all descended together

'Well where's Harry?' Fred demanded after looking at the players who were now walking to the broom shed and realising there was no Harry with them

'Hi', came a voice from above them, everyone looked up and saw Harry hovering above them, he jumped the six-foot to the ground from his broom and landed easily on both feet, his broom descended into his hand

'Well well well, it would appear the rumours are true after all, I owe you 10 galleons George' Fred said as he reluctantly held out the money which George pocketed smugly after counting every single Knut

'What's going on?' Harry looked rather tired as he pushed the stray strand of hair out of his eyes

'We came to see if the famous Harry Potter had rebelled against his little good boy look'

'And what have you discovered?' Harry raised an eyebrow and looked rather interested, he didn't necessarily think he had had the image of a good boy but he still wanted to know how people saw him now 

'It would appear to be true, although I don't see the rumoured earring or a tattoo' George summarised, how people got to hear these rumours was somewhat of a mystery, it was like a giant game of Chinese whispers throughout the wizarding world 

'I never got an earring but I do have the tattoo' Harry grinned, Ron looked impressed and Hermione didn't scold him like expected but tilted her head and looked rather interested 

'So where is this tattoo?' Hermione said in a singsong voice, Ron looked shocked at Hermione who was practically flirting and Harry grinned widely, he had never expected this from his best friend but he was going to make the most of it

'I'm off for a shower, I'll show you if you want to join me' Harry offered with a very sly grin, instead of slapping him as she normally would have Hermione merely smiled although her cheeks looked a little flushed

'Unfortunately I have homework that needs doing' Hermione laughed slightly to try and ignore the fact that at the present moment she was acting more like a Parvati clone than herself

'Maybe some other time' Harry said as his grin faded slightly, he hadn't expected Hermione to accept, in fact he would have fainted from shock if she had but she was looking very appealing and he was after all a teenager

'Maybe' Hermione grinned, Harry grinned back extremely cheekily as he left towards the changing rooms. The three Weasleys were staring at Hermione as though she had just announced her intention to seduce Flitwick, she turned to face them and seeing the looks on their faces asked in a surprised tone 'What?' 

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'Damn' Harry scowled angrily as Ron took his Queen, it was later the same day and yet another evening was been spent playing Wizards chess, actually Ron and Harry were playing chess and Hermione was busy at the table next to them scribbling extra notes for her Charms homework

'Give up now Harry' Ron advised grinning from ear to ear, he had always loved playing chess, especially with Harry as it was something he could win at

'No way' Harry growled as he bit his tongue in fierce concentration trying to work out what the repercussions of moving his King would be, he still couldn't play this game despite his best efforts

'Fine' Ron shrugged as it came back to his turn, he knew exactly what to do 'Checkmate' 

'What? No way. How did that happen?' Harry had been sure that he had been doing all right, and yet Ron had just beaten him with apparent ease

'You tried to take on the master and you lost' Ron said smugly

'Just wait till next time' Harry glared as Ron grinned even more considering doing an elaborate celebration dance and possibly having a letter sent to the entire house letting them know that the perfect Harry Potter had lost at chess

'I look forward to it' Ron smiled infuriatingly, Hermione finally looked up from her books with an exasperated look on her face

'You two could consider stopping your pointless discussion and actually do this homework' she said in her most bossy tones

'We could but we're not going to' Ron was still smiling from his victory

'This homework's important, we have NEWTS next year' Hermione explained for the seventy-third time that year

'Exactly next year, so this year we plan to have fun, right Ron?' Harry said

'Precisely' Ron nodded in complete agreement, he had complete faith in his method of revising right before the exam

'Oh honestly, you two are so immature' Hermione said in irritated tones as she bent back over her books leaving Ron and Harry to start another game

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'I've been thinking' Harry announced on Friday evening in the common room, Ron had disappeared to talk to Ginny about something private and Harry was sat next to Hermione just watching her read, which was a lot more interesting than it sounded

'You should leave that to me, we don't want you messing up this lovely hair of yours' Hermione leant over and ruffled Harry's hair

'If anyone else touched my hair, they'd be dead but I'll let you off just this once' Harry growled trying to hide a grin

'Thanks' Hermione said sarcastically, she changed her tone to ask, 'So what have you been thinking about?'

'I think I might get an earring' Harry said rather thoughtfully, he had been thinking about it since Fred and George's visit two days ago

'What type, are you sure you want to?' Hermione was rather surprised, she had never really imagined Harry with an earring, and it was a rather strange thought

'Why not? You have your ears pierced' Harry pointed out, he had never actually realised that Hermione had had her ears pierced but she was definitely wearing earrings, so she must have. He had never actually realised a lot of things till now, but she had suddenly grown up overnight and Harry was astonished that he had only just noticed 

'Yes but I'm a girl' Hermione said as though maybe Harry hadn't realised, which he definitely had

'I'd guessed' Harry said before he could stop himself

'So what's stopping you from getting the earring?' Hermione asked quickly as her cheeks went red

'Nothing, do you want to come with me?' 

'Why? So I can hold your hand if you need it' Hermione teased 

'Very funny' Harry said sarcastically

'I thought so' Hermione smiled as she turned back to her books ready to resume studying

'Excellent' Harry stood up to walk away, but as he walked away a very strange and unusual feeling made Hermione call after him

'You never did show me that tattoo of yours' Hermione shouted, she could have sworn that Harry blushed but he turned looking as cool as usual with a large grin on his face

'You really want to see it?' he asked in surprise, he didn't think Hermione was the type of girl to tease him with such a flirting proposition, but then gain he hadn't thought Hermione was the type of girl to flirt at all

'I do' Hermione confirmed

'Then come with me' Harry said as he pulled Hermione out of her seat, along the corridor and into a nearby storage cupboard filled with towels and sheets for the beds

'Why do you have to show me in here?' Hermione inquired as Harry turned the light on and locked the door, she trusted Harry but couldn't help but be suspicious especially due to his recent change of character

'Don't want anyone else to see' Harry grinned as he lifted his shirt to show the tattoo in question, it was a green dragon with a flame of fire coming out of it's mouth

'It's only the head' Hermione pointed out

'There's more' Harry said and unbuttoned the top of his trousers to show the body of the dragon with the sharp tail of it curling off at the top of his boxers

'It's beautiful' Hermione looked at it and admired the delicate artwork 

'You know if anyone saw us this would be a very compromising situation for two prefects to be in' Harry said suggestively in a low throaty whisper, Hermione suddenly reverted to her normal state of mind and looked round quickly assessing the situation

'See you at dinner' Hermione said as though she often met fellow prefects in cupboards, she paused for a moment to add 'by the way nice body' then she unlocked the door and slipped out of the cupboard. Leaving a shocked and confused Harry to collect his thoughts and try and work out whether he was delusional or if Hermione Granger had just said he had a nice body 

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'Potter I challenge you to a wizards duel' Draco leapt out from an empty classroom early Saturday morning, it looked suspiciously as thought he had been lying in wait for Harry, which he probably had been, the sole purpose of his life now been to show Harry up 

'Malfoy don't be a prat' Harry said exasperated, he was on his way to the library with Ron and Hermione and didn't want to waste time on Draco

'What's the matter, scared you might lose?' Draco drawled looking smug for reasons known only to him

'You wish, I just don't think I have the time to spare to bother with you' 

'What else could you possibly be doing, except maybe doing it with the mudblood' Draco taunted, he got a response as Harry's face contorted in anger, Ron was ready to leap on Draco and murder him but Hermione was holding him back, she couldn't stop Harry though

'Don't you ever, ever speak about Hermione like that again, apologise now' Harry demanded grabbing Draco by the scruff of his robes with one hand and pushing him against the wall, Hermione shrieked in horror at Harry been so violent

'Get screwed' Draco gasped, Harry pushed Draco further up so that his feet weren't touching the floor

'I said apologise' Harry growled, Hermione was now trying to get Harry to stop, however Ron was cheering him on

'Sorry' Draco spluttered his face bright red, Harry dropped him to the floor 

'That's better' 

'My father will hear of this' Draco said in a thinly veiled threat as he straightened his robes with as much dignity as he could muster under the circumstances 

'Excellent I was meaning to have a few words with him myself' Harry said still growling, Draco's eyes narrowed at this last comment and he left and walked away no doubt to collect Crabbe and Goyle and torment somebody else. But Lucius Malfoy would be coming to Hogwarts very soon to demand justice for his son and Harry had no doubt that he would give him the reception he deserved

'I'm meant to beat Malfoy up, not you' Ron said sulkily as the trio continued their journey to the library

'Tell you what, next time we both do it' Harry offered, Ron's face broke into a grin, however Hermione looked horrified and launched into one of her speeches

'Neither of you will do anything of the sort, imagine if Professor McGonagall found out, we might never make up the number of house points you'd lose. In prefects who gained power the Ravenclaw prefect from in 1975 tells the story of how she had to ….' The rest of Hermione's particular boring lecture on the repercussions of a fight between a Ravenclaw and a Hufflepuff was lost as both boys hung back, Hermione continued walking and lecturing not realising that Ron and harry were 5 metres behind her. 

Ron rolled his eyes in Hermione's direction causing Harry to laugh and continued their earlier conversation as though Hermione had never even started talking 'It's a deal'

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A/N: I now only have 4 exams left and this chapter has not been properly checked for mistakes, but if you spot any point them out and after all my exams are finished I will be happy to go back and correct all mistakes in these three chapters. So please review even if you didn't like it, you can always suggest improvements or just flame me, so long as you review

I apologise for not answering any reviews this chapter, but I'm busy revising, I will try and answer at least the ones asking questions in my next chapter, and any suggestions for a possible amigus for Harry would be appreciated


	4. Teachers, house elves and yet more Malfo...

Disclaimer: As usual I don't own any of these characters, not a single location either

A/N: I see a worrying trend developing, I get fewer reviews for each chapter as I keep going. Allow me to prove my point for chapter one I got 32 reviews, for chapter two I got 26 reviews and for chapter three I only got 17 reviews. So for obvious reasons I worried about posting this, but anyway here goes, please review if you read it, it's all I ask for 

Once again apologies that this chapter has not been checked, and will be updated and revised with the previous three as soon as my final exam is finished (10th June)

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'Where is that brat' Lucius Malfoy burst into Hagrid's hut making sure not to touch anything in case he got a nasty disease, Hagrid jumped up in anger, last time Malfoy had been in his hut he'd been taken to Azkaban. So understandably he was less then happy to see him again especially because he had no idea which boy Malfoy was referring to although he had a sneaking suspicion that it was Harry

'Malfoy git out of my house' Hagrid roared furiously

'Tell me where the boy is, I was told he was here and I intend to teach him a lesson' Malfoy stood his ground, he made a point of looking down on people like Hagrid and had no intention of even listening to what he might say

'He's behind you' Hagrid said as he saw Harry's rather curious face appear over Malfoy's shoulder

'Excellent, right Potter get in here and let's get some things straight' Malfoy ordered not bothering to turn round, he had no desire to stay in the hut but he couldn't go to the castle because threatening Harry Potter would not look good to anyone especially if Dumbledore turned up, like he had a nasty habit of doing

'A very good idea' Harry said as he stepped into the room and Malfoy's eyes widened in surprise for a few seconds before his face reverted to its usual sneering look

'Don't pick fights with my family Potter' Lucius Malfoy clearly felt that nobody would ever question his commands and this was one of the main commands that everybody who knew the Malfoys followed

'I was merely teaching him a lesson, something you clearly have never done' Harry said very coldly as he flicked some dirt off his hands signalling his boredom with the conversation

'Remember who you are speaking to boy' Malfoy spat

'I do. I have great plans for daddy's little boy if he keeps getting in my way' Harry informed Malfoy with a scornful sneer on his face

'I'll make sure you regret it, I have some powerful friends if you get what I mean' Malfoy brought out his big gun (not literally) and used his favourite threat of his master, which was usually enough to send people running to do his every command. However Harry was clearly unimpressed and in fact laughed out loud

'Don't threaten me with Voldemort' Harry scorned, Malfoy shuddered and Harry noticed it with an unpleasant smirk. 'Afraid of your own master's name, how very feeble' Malfoy turned to leave, but Harry hadn't finished 'See you soon Lucius, I have every intention of having my own little meeting with Voldemort very soon, you can come if you want, in fact I insist that you do'

'You'll meet a sticky end soon Potter' Malfoy spat with hatred as he paused in the doorway

'I highly doubt that' Harry smiled extremely cockily 

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'Harry yer all grown up' Hagrid hugged him hard as soon as Malfoy had left. Harry was practically choking as one of Hagrid's arms was tightly round his neck and the other arm was patting him on the back in what was supposed to be an affectionate manner but was in fact more like hitting Harry with a bag of bricks 

'I don't feel it compared to you' Harry said rather hoarsely when Hagrid finally let him go

'Yeh even got a dragon tattoo I heard' Hagrid said looking rather like a proud parent, although most parents wouldn't be proud if their child got a tattoo, however this was the man who thought fire breathing dragons were sweet 

'How do you know that?' Harry asked rather surprised, it wasn't common knowledge that he had a tattoo and as the Queen of gossip Parvati hadn't mentioned it he had assumed nobody except the Weasley's and Hermione had seen it 

'Little Hermione told me, actually she's not that little anymore none of you are' Hagrid sounded as though he was restraining a sob as he said this. Harry was quite sure he'd seen Hagrid's eyes glimmer with tears which were probably pride at how all the trio had grown up, even though it was definitely Harry who had changed the most 

'So you got any new pets?' Harry asked trying to stop Hagrid from becoming over emotional, it worked as Hagrid was off describing how wonderful his pet (a flying horse) was and the rest of the night was spent discussing the merits of the various other rare animals 

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Harry and Ron were spending yet another evening making up events of what would happen when Venus met with Mars, they were all terrible as had become the tradition with Divination homework predictions. Hermione had disappeared after dinner and only reappeared now walking down the dormitory stairs 

'Hermione looking good' Harry called from where he was lounging on a sofa in the common room next to Ron, to be frankly honest Hermione was looking sexy. She was for once wearing muggle clothing and make-up, which had the effect of making boys who were normally gawking after Cho or Parvati suddenly pay her much more interest 

'Thanks' Hermione looked rather surprised as she crossed over to were the boys were seated, she wasn't used to compliments especially from Harry who had taken two months to even notice that her teeth had been reduced and he still hadn't mentioned them even then. But that was the old Harry and the new Harry apparently did notice things like hair and clothes, or maybe he just noticed girls in general 

'If you were my girl I would be highly jealous of whoever you were about to meet' Harry smiled rather slyly, Ron was now staring at him in open-mouthed disbelief as though he was running a tropical fever 

'I'll take that as a compliment' Hermione said with a note of suspicion in her voice, which was the thought that Harry was perhaps teasing her

'It was meant as one' Harry said very sincerely shattering Hermione's previous thought

'You should be careful Harry, it will wreck this new reputation of yours if you start been all sweet around me' Hermione said with a weak grin, she hadn't expected Harry or Ron to even notice her change of outfit, let alone Harry to flirt with her over it. The make-up was due to the lesser of two evils that Parvati had threatened her with, the other had been to tell Harry how wonderful Parvati was at every opportunity so that he would date her. Hermione had chosen the other option of distracting Parvati by agreeing to a minor makeover

'I can't help it, you just do something to me' Harry said in surprise. He hadn't realised it before but Hermione did make him act nicer which was something he would have to stop before (as Hermione said) his reputation was wrecked, but all the same he couldn't help but be rather envious of whoever Hermione was meeting. 

In fact Harry had very little to be jealous of as Hermione was meeting Professor Vector for some help with Arithmacy research and the make-over before it had just been one of those coincidences which make life a little more complicated 

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'Dean did I hear you were dating Ginny?' Ron asked far too nicely as he spotted Dean Thomas entering the common room without Seamus and jumped in front of him halting him in his tracks

'Possibly' Dean was rather nervous and had even more reason for been when Harry strolled over

'What's going on here?' Harry asked, he had been reading 'Quidditch through the ages' for the fiftieth time because Hermione was in the library and Ron had been trying to find Dean so he was extremely bored 

'I think Dean is dating Ginny' Ron told his best friend without turning to face him, his eyes were still fixed on Dean's anxious face watching for any sign of guilt 

'Well Thomas is this true?' Harry took over Ron's interrogation and spoke very threateningly to Dean who was now eyeing the stairs and wondering if he could reach them before Ron or Harry tried to kill him, his decision was negative so he stayed to stand his ground

'Yes' Dean said his voice not even wavering, which wasn't a true reflection of how he was feeling. He liked and respected Harry and Ron as friends but when it came to Ginny the word overprotective sprang instantly to mind especially now that Harry had a new tough guy image that Dean had no desire to test 

'And if we told you not to?' Harry asked his voice dangerously low; Dean suddenly pulled himself up to his full height and looked very determined

'Then I still would, Ginny's someone worth facing you for' Dean's voice and face now reflected a unexpected depth of feeling for his new girlfriend

'Very good Dean, you pass' Harry said approvingly, Dean smiled looking very relieved as Harry moved to walk away 

'But, if you ever even think about hurting her, I'll make sure you never walk again' Ron said jumping back into the conversation, Dean had no doubt he meant it as Ron's face showed no hint of a joke

'And I'll help him' Harry called over his shoulder as Ron caught up with him and the two boys made their way to the library to find the third part of their trio leaving a rather shaken but pleased Dean behind them, until he remembered that Ginny had another 5 brothers 

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'Do you remember the first year when McGonagall turned into cat, I thought it was the best thing I'd ever seen, but all we ever do is write boring essays' Ron whispered to Harry as they were sat in Transfiguration supposedly writing an essay on the dangers of Amigus transformations. Although Harry's parchment was still blank and Ron's didn't have much more on, Hermione was obviously onto her third sheet already, ignoring Ron and Harry's conversation

'Thank you for the compliment Mr Weasley but you are required to pass this year before you can even think about becoming an amigus, so you need to write these essays' McGonagall appeared besides them with her annoying habit of overhearing all the worst comments made by her students

'Why?' Harry asked leaning back in this seat and sucking his quill, it wasn't a sugar quill but he liked sucking it anyway, McGonagall looked highly affronted at this disrespect which was perhaps the real reason for Harry sucking his quill

'Because Mr Potter becoming an amigus is a highly advanced and highly dangerous from of magic that takes years of mastering. You are only sixth years, you cannot begin to understand how complex the process is' she said very slowly, she had been in deep dislike of this new Harry all term and was angry that Dumbledore didn't see fit to do anything about it

'It's simple' Harry said as though it was obvious, he now had the attention of the entire class, bar Hermione who was still scribbling in deep concentration

'You do not know what you are talking about, now get back to your work' McGonagall said her tone of voice suggesting disobeying her may endanger lives. She had just realised that Harry had done none of the work she had set and the one thing that annoyed her above all else was a pupil not doing work

'But I already know all I need to about amigus transformations' Harry protested appearing annoyed with McGonagall for interrupting his daydreaming 

'I highly doubt that' McGonagall said thorough gritted teeth, she was looking as though she was struggling to keep calm. There was a simple reason for this, which was that she was seriously considering strangling the boy who lived

'I already told you it's simple' Harry insisted, he hated anyone questioning his knowledge and McGonagall was lining herself up as the next recipient of Harry's lessons of how magic should be done

'How would you know that?' McGonagall asked in a very sarcastic manner not realising she was playing directly into Harry's hands, and had walked straight into a trap

'Like this' Harry grinned and closed his eyes concentrating hard, suddenly Harry wasn't there anymore and a mighty golden lion stood in his place, (A/N. I know it's cliché but I was stuck), McGonagall gave a squeak as Harry gave a large roar and then transformed back as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Even Hermione was now giving Harry her full attention, some classes might have been scared or jealous if one of their classmates suddenly became an animal. But this was a class of Gryffindors and the classmate was Harry Potter so the looks Harry received were only ones of pure admiration, except of course from McGonagall who was furious

'This is impossible, Mr Potter are you even registered?' McGonagall asked suspiciously when she had finally recovered from the shock enough to speak

'Oops I knew there was something I forgot to do' Harry said as though he had simply forgotten to brush his teeth, Ron and a few other braver members of the class started to chuckle before a glare from McGonagall silenced them

'Go wait outside the room, I'll deal with you later' McGonagall ordered trying to restore some sense of order in her class who would no doubt now worship Harry even more than before 

'You're just jealous' Harry said clearly with a smirk as he left the room

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'Hey Dobby, how are you?' Harry asked deciding to visit the kitchens after an exhausting night cleaning the stairs, luckily he never needed much sleep. He still had another month of detention to do for McGonagall who had surprisingly not sent him to Dumbledore, probably because she was too ashamed to admit that she had been shown up by Harry and lost control of the class for a few minutes

'I is good Mr Potter sir, I has been worried about you' Dobby barrelled into Harry hugging him hard around his legs

'No need to worry about me' Harry grinned as Dobby disentangled himself

'Winky has been worried too, she likes you now'

'I'm glad to hear that, have you got together yet?' Harry asked with a large nudge and wink, which made Dobby blush or rather he turned a strange colour that Harry could only assume meant he was embarrassed 

'I is not thinking that house elves are meant to date' Dobby said rather anxiously 

'Go on Dobby, have some fun, let your hair down' Harry continued the teasing as he picked at some of the food which the house elves were bringing him

'But I do not have any hair, should I buy some? I have a galleon spare' Dobby produced the galleon in question from his apron with a proud smile, Harry suppressed a groan as he realised that he wasn't going to get anywhere with this conversation

'Just a saying' Harry said hurriedly as Dobby opened his mouth to ask another question, before getting his own question in 'Anyway you got any Pumpkin pie?'

'Yes I could make Harry Potter a nice pie' Dobby looked rather proud at being asked for food from his hero, and it could be observed that the other house elves were looking rather jealous as Dobby quickly brought Harry a enormous plate full of pie 

'Cheers Dobby, I'll bring you some socks or something soon' Harry said as he wiped his mouth on his sleeve after demolishing the pie in record time and headed for the door

'Oh thank you Harry Potter, you is so good and so kind to poor Dobby' Dobby said with a very toothy grin as he hurried to wash Harry Potter's dish up first

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(A/N: I just couldn't finish the chapter without a Draco encounter)

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'Hey are you the guy who opened the chamber of secrets? Cos shouldn't you be in Slytherin?' a small Hufflepuff boy probably in his second year tugged on Harry's sleeve in the corridor and asked a question which attracted an interested crowd of younger students

'Scram kids, we're late' Ron said, he didn't actually mind being late for divination but he still didn't think Harry would want to be held up with stupid questions 

'So Potter, trying to be heir of Slytherin again?' Draco called across the hallway from where he had apparently seen the whole thing 

'I was never and will never be the heir of Slytherin' Harry said with an angry scowl at Draco and the goon squad 

'I'm sorry my mistake, is it the heir of Gryffindor now?' Draco asked with mock interest 

'Whatever it is, it's bound to be a hell of a lot better than what you are' Ron chimed in with a glare, Harry laughed at this remark 

'Laugh while you can, I'll get my revenge soon' Draco said with poorly concealed glee

'Oh dear dear dear, poor misinformed Draco' Harry said as he began to laugh harder, he found it so funny that he laughed harder which only served to infuriate Malfoy even more than usual 

'Stop laughing and tell me what you're talking about' Draco demanded looking thoroughly confused, which was an amusing sight in itself 

'I do not take orders from anyone Malfoy, especially not you' Harry stopped laughing and spoke very seriously. But he soon felt like laughing again as he continued speaking 'however I feel sorry for you so here's some free advice, talk to your precious father and maybe he'll tell you how he trembled at Voldemort's name and left in a hurry'

'He did no such thing' Draco said indignantly as though Harry's accusation had mortally wounded him

'What's that saying that's so fitting?' Harry turned to Ron who caught on immediately

'Like father like son' Ron suggested with a sly smile in Draco's suggestion

'Exactly both delusional, both scared and both heading for a fall' Harry finished as he walked away before Draco could recover and set Goyle or Crabbe after them  
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Thank you to all my reviewers for chapter three, I appreciate every single one:

Savi2070, rotc girl, aloria, HoT*lIkE*fIrE, Stoneheart, Alicia Renee, Audra, wh469, Joan, Mystical Witch, babooshka, Otaku freak, Lily, Lady Russell Holmes, Silver Dragon Princess, lunatyme, ^_^, Li-chan, Fruity

An even bigger thanks if you added me to your favourites list, it really inspired me to keep writing

Sorry if I got some of your names wrong, some of the ones that weren't signed were rather hard to work out

I would reply to every review individually but I'm rather pushed for time, however I'd like to answer a few of them and I will try answering everyone for this chapter after all my exams are finally finished (10th)

Lily – The amigus idea of sneaking out of the grounds was good, however I couldn't think of any decent small animals so he'll just have to be very sly because he will be leaving Hogwarts for some late night adventures

Wh469 – The body is definitely here to stay, as is most of the attitude and they aren't the result of the potion, you have my promise on that

Alicia Renee – I do feel special, I'm very happy to read any of your reviews signed or not

Stoneheart - Your reviews mean so much to me, they're always so nice and helpful even though I make some stupid mistakes sometimes, cheers

And well done to rotc natzi(not really) for spotting that the questions were from the first book, you earn a cookie 

Finally another of my pleas to review, go on, you can leave a blank review if you don't want to write, just so long as you leave one 


	5. Of fights and threats

Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of these characters, however the plot is mine and mine alone

A/N: Firstly a very big and humble SORRY for having not updated for so long, I did explain it all on my bio page but I guess nobody saw it. Basically my computer lost all my files and so this is the first and rather rushed attempt to re-write a story that I'd already planned out. It's not the same as it was originally going to be, but I've tried my best to keep it about the same kind of tone 

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'Sorry' Harry said as he slunk down into his seat in DADA twenty minutes late, Flitwick who was covering the lesson merely looked up and nodded  

'Hey why isn't he being punished?' Draco asked looking angry that Harry wasn't told off

'I'm sure Mr Potter has a good reason for been late' Flitwick said looking annoyed at Malfoy for causing trouble

'Yeah' Harry muttered in a rather non-committed tone as he searched around his bag loudly for a quill

'Well what is it?' Flitwick thought he had better press the issue just so Malfoy couldn't complain to Snape who scared Flitwick immensely 

'I slept in' Harry said rolling his eyes as though it was obvious. Quite a few people in the class snickered including Ron, however Hermione was one of the notable exceptions, as she very firmly believed that lessons should be of vital importance to everybody 

'You see he had a perfectly acceptable reason' Flitwick smiled satisfied and was ready to continue the lesson but Draco was now fuming 

'WHAT? Did you not hear what he said? That's not a real reason' Draco yelled in fury as he stood up and looked as he though would very gladly strangle Flitwick with his bare hands at any moment

'Mr Malfoy sit back down or I will take points off Slytherin' Flitwick shouted looking angry and Malfoy sunk back down into his seat muttering about unfair favouritism and bloody Potter. As soon as Flitwick had turned back to the board Harry turned round to face Draco and gave him an unmistakable smirk while Draco glowered angrily in return 

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Harry was watching the stars above him as he walked slowly through the edge of the forbidden forest with his hands shoved deep in his pockets. He'd slipped out of school in his animagus form to go for a late night stroll, but he wasn't alone the infrequent snapping of a twig told him that someone was following him 

'Potter' a dark figure hissed as it emerged from behind the trees as Harry reached a clearing lit by the moonlight 

'Oh a deatheater' Harry said looking decidedly bored as though he came face-to-face with cloaked killers everyday 

'The dark lord has decided he will duel you tomorrow at the abandoned town hall outside Hogsmede' the deatheater stated in rather snooty tones 

'I don't think so' Harry said raising an eyebrow with a snort, there was no way he was going to let any deatheater order him around

'You will be taken by force if it is required' the deatheater said in what was clearly meant to be a scary threatening voice but Harry merely looked very unimpressed and rather annoyed

'I'd like to see you try'

'Very well' the deatheater drew his wand and immediately shot a curse at Harry who sidestepped it very neatly with a glare aimed at the deatheater that would cause any normal man to quake in fear.

Harry's eyes now had the glint of destruction in them as the deatheater raised his wand preparing for another attack, but he never got the chance to carry it out as Harry with lightening-quick reflexes had pulled his own wand out and shot the disarming spell.

There was no question of it missing its target, there was no possibility of the deatheater avoiding it and that was why Harry was now in the possession of two wands. And the deatheater who had been thrown backwards by the force of the spell was starting to think that maybe he had underestimated Harry and things were unlikely to be getting better anytime soon as Harry now had a growing smirk on his face as he twirled his wand

About 10 minutes and a furnunclus, rictusempra, tarantallegra, serpensortia and a few other curses later Harry was apparently getting bored as he put his wand away and began to walk menacingly over to the deatheater. Yanking him to his feet Harry grabbed one of the deatheaters arms and pulled it very firmly behind his back with a sickening crack, letting go of the arm Harry pulled the deatheater into a headlock and holding him firm began to speak slowly and clearly  

'Now you listen very carefully. Tell Voldemort and all your other little deatheater friends to stay well away from me and Hogwarts or you'll regret it'

With those words Harry let the deatheater go and shoved him away into a tree, which the deatheater slid down against panting heavily looking rather shocked to still be alive. With a disgusted look Harry throw the deatheater's wand towards his feet and turned away preparing to leave

'Half ten tomorrow night' the deatheater managed to say in between his heavy breaths as he staggered to his feet clutching his wand firmly as though his live depended on it, which it just might have done

Harry turned back looking very shrewdly at the deatheater before giving a strange half smile as a rather wicked plot popped into his head, giving the deatheater a final parting smirk 

'Get lost now Avery'

And with that Harry disappeared back into forest leaving a bruised and beaten Avery to digest what had just happened and return to his Lord with the news that his message had been delivered

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'Come in' Harry yelled as some-one knocked on his door late Saturday morning, everyone else in his dormitory had long since woken up but then they hadn't been out wrestling with deatheaters the night before 

'Oh I'm sorry, I'll come back later' Hermione's head appeared round the door and promptly turned bright red as she realised Harry was stood in the middle of his room wearing nothing but boxer shorts 

'No stay, I'm putting clothes on not taking them off' Harry said with a grin at Hermione's obvious embarrassment 

'If you're sure' Hermione said doubtfully

'Positive, I just need to find some clothes to wear. You want to choose for me? Unless you want me to go out in just my boxers' Harry said with one eyebrow raised questioningly 

'It's very cold this time of year plus it would be a scandal' Hermione said in her most practical voice stepping into the dormitory and shutting the door firmly behind her, it really wouldn't do for any of the younger students to see her alone with a practically naked Harry 

'In that case help me' Harry pleaded as Hermione appeared very interested in peering closely at Dean's West Ham poster, in fact she seemed very keen on looking everywhere except at Harry

'Ok' Hermione agreed moving over to Harry's wardrobe. After a few minutes she turned back to Harry to ask 'were you aware that all you own are black and white trousers and tops?'

'That's not true' Harry protested indignantly jumping up to go next to Hermione (who was strictly following a Just-don't-look-at-his-body-and-you'll-be-fine mantra), after rooting through his clothes for a while he stood back up triumphantly and held out a t-shirt 'See this one's grey'

'It's just black faded' Hermione informed him, sticking her tongue out rather childishly at him

'Fine try the trunk over there' Harry waved in the general direction he meant as he sat back down on his bed

'Ok. Anyway why are you so concerned with your clothes, are you going out somewhere?' Hermione asked after a few minutes of silence

'Just want to look nice for my meeting with Voldemort' Harry muttered

'I'll assume your just displaying your terrible sense of humour' Hermione's head snapped up immediately as her sharp ears picked up what he had just said and she looked at him very intently

'You do that' Harry said nonchalantly with a shrug, after a few more seconds of intense staring that started to make Harry feel rather uncomfortable Hermione finally turned back to her task of searching for clothes

'What about these?' Hermione asked holding up a pair of yellow checked trousers that looked big enough for a clown or three 

'Don't be silly I use them to clean my motorbike with' Harry said with a derisive snort as he recognized Dudley's horrible trousers 

'Ok. In that case just go for that green shirt with black jeans' Hermione said shortly afterwards, she was apparently bored of attempting to be some kind of fashion guru

'If you're sure'

'I'm not, but if you want me to go get Parvati for you I'm sure she'd be happy to advise you' Hermione sounded rather miffed 

'No no, great choice' Harry said quickly placating her, partly because he didn't want to get into a stupid argument and partly because Parvati absolutely terrified him, he'd rather face Voldemort than be stuck in a room with just Parvati. Which was in fact exactly what he was going to do

'This might sound rather crazy but did you just say you had a motorbike?' Hermione asked as she replayed the conversation in her head

'I did' Harry confirmed as he dragged himself back from his thoughts on ways he could defeat Voldemort

'Where in god's name are you hiding a motorbike?' Hermione asked rather faintly as if 

'Hagrid's hut' Harry said as though it was obvious, which when you thought logically about it, it was

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'Oh teacup of wonder tell me your secrets' Ron cried dramatically waving his arms and mumbling hocus pocus, which earned a number of giggles from a very bored divination class and the attentions of Professor Sybil Trewlaney 

'Class you must take this seriously' Trewlaney said trying not to look annoyed while shooting a very dirty glance to Harry and Ron's table where both boys now just stared innocently back at her

'Of course we must' Harry muttered rather sarcastically as he gazed at the ceiling and absent-mindedly stirred the end of his quill in some rather mouldy tea that was in his cup. Trewlaney frowned at him and came forward to look into Harry's future (otherwise known as his teacup)

'Oh my dear, I see you have a terrible future ahead' Trewlaney gazed intently into Harry's cup. Harry looked up briefly and smiled before holding out his hand

'Please may I see' Harry asked extremely politely, smiling so innocently that Trewlaney forgot every single lesson he'd disrupted that term 

'Of course, but you must try to be brave at all you see' Trewlaney could see every member of the class watching as she placed the cup in Harry's outstretched hand

'Oh my God, noooooo' Harry cried as the entire class gave up the pretence of working to crowd round Harry's desk where Harry was gazing into his teacup with a look of pure horror on his face and Ron just looked amazed

'Harry what's wrong?' Parvati asked looking very concerned

'I saw my future and it was terrible, horrific even' Harry whispered in a hoarse voice

'Tell us what's wrong' Lavender elbowed Parvati out of the way while smiling sweetly at Harry

'I don't know if I can bear it' Harry said flinging his arms out in a fit of despair looking for all the world as if he'd just seen a ghost, which was actually highly likely as the rumour was that Myrtle was stalking him

'You must be strong' Trewlaney said patting his arm although her sympathetic gesture was rather spoiled by the very smug smile she was showing the rest of the class because Harry Potter was finally accepting she could see the future 

'I saw…….I saw…….I saw' Harry stuttered nervously looking over his shoulder fearfully 

'Yes' Trewlaney prompted as the entire class leaned even further forwards so everyone was in a small huddle around Harry

'I saw myself in this dingy attic that smells of cheap perfume with an old bag who's delusional for another whole year. Arrrggghhh it's more than I can take' Harrry finished with a large grin as Ron fell off his chair from laughing so hard, Dean and Seamus were clutching Neville's arm so that they didn't join Ron on the floor.

Trewlaney muttered something about needing herbal tea and dismissed the class early as she disappeared complaining of a headache as she realised Harry had yet again tricked her into looking extremely foolish

'You had me worried for a minute there mate. I thought you'd gained the inner eye or something' Ron was saying into between bursts of laughter as they descended from the tower

'Not a chance in hell'

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'Hey Harry, my mum wants to know how you are. God knows what Fred and George have told her' Ron yelled across the common room as Harry came down the stairs 

'Just tell her I'm fine and get good grades' Harry said without giving the matter any real thought 

'Will do that should please her' Ron smiled and turned back to his piece of parchment

'Or you could stop being such a mummy's boy' Harry muttered under his breath as he sat down 

'Hey I heard that' Ron's head snapped up immediately, his face a mixture of hurt and anger 

'Good to know you have ears' Harry said as the Ron's body part in question grew very red

'Don't insult my family' Ron said very slowly as he mentally counted to ten trying to keep calm 

'Why not? I would have thought you'd be used to it by now' Harry sneered. In the past the very thought of insulting the Weasley's would have shocked him but nowadays things just didn't seem to matter to him anymore 

'I just told you not to do that' Ron hissed through gritted teeth

'What are you gonna do about it?' Harry said with a short laugh. It was at that second that Ron lost it and lunged forwards in an attempt to punch Harry, however Harry merely held up his palm and caught Ron's clenched fist without flinching as he said 'Hey, calm down. It was just a joke'

'Yeah well it wasn't funny' Ron said with a glare as he left the common room

'Geeze what's his problem?' Harry asked to Hermione who'd been nearby but he received no answer as she gave him a very cold look and stood up to follow Ron. Harry just shrugged his shoulders and turned back to his book seemingly not worried that he'd offended his best friends 

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A/N: OK I'm bracing myself for the flames I feel are about to come my way for the Ron part of that chapter. But it will get worse before it gets better and so please still review

I realise that maybe you're upset with Harry arguing with Ron, but there is a very good reason for it.

As always please please please review and any comments or help you'd like to offer me I'm more than willing to accept. I honestly will at some point go back and correct all the mistakes you've already pointed out, I promise.


	6. Rendezvous you will

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, etc, etc, etc

A/N: I am (just for a change) extremely sorry for the long months it has been since I updated this story, but I've been very busy and this story had me completely stumped.

I hit the proverbial writer's block and it was terrible, I knew what I wanted to happen in all the chapters after this, I just couldn't get this one together and wonderful though all my reviewers are, they all seemed to want different things.

Then I came to realise that I can't please everyone and that I just have to do what I think is best for the story, so this chapter does contain an encounter with Voldemort, later on there will be Harry/Hermione romance and Draco bashing will continue

But if anyone is really opposed to Voldemort fight scenes then I will mark them out, you can simply skip them and your enjoyment of the story will hopefully not be spoilt too much. So here goes nothing:

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A tall dark figure with his hood up came striding into the head offices of the Aurors and glanced round swiftly before making his way to the reception desk

'Good afternoon sir, can I be of assistance?' the secretary asked in a highly-polished tone, not realising she was speaking directly to the boy she had been reading about only five minutes earlier in the Witch's Weekly

'I certainly hope so. I wish to speak with Mr McInnes' Harry said, reading the name of the head of the auror department off a list in front of him

'Do you have an appointment?' she asked, still apparently unconcerned that a hooded stranger who for all she knew could be a deatheater was only a few centimetres from her

'No'

'I see' the secretary said, in a voice that clearly meant she expected him to be leaving very soon

'Yes, but while I'm very grateful that you can use your eyes, this is an urgent matter regarding Voldemort' Harry said rather annoyed that after sneaking out of Hogwarts over an hour ago, he was still wasting his time with some secretary while Voldemort might be killing some innocent person

'You-know-who?' she questioned glancing around a bit nervously

'No, Voldemort' Harry said repeating the word very firmly

'Right' the secretary smiled calmly while reaching for the security alarm

'Can I see him now?' Harry asked abruptly staring intently at the woman's arm, which had now paused inches from the alarm

'I'm afraid he's far too busy just now, but if you like I could tell him you called' she decided that pressing the alarm might provoke this weirdo further and instead tried to fob him off with her most professional voice

'Or you could actually do your job and tell him now' Harry said continuing to stare from under his hood, succeeding in making the woman extremely uncomfortable

'Very well. Name?' she asked with a sigh of defeat as she reached for a quill and parchment thinking she should definitely be paid at least twice as much for this job

'Harry'

'Harry what? There are more than a few Harry's in the world' the secretary snapped irritated by this young man's stupidity

'Potter. Harry Potter' the young man in question said as he lowered his hood with a smirk that the secretary missed as she was busy scribbling on her parchment of paper muttering to herself

'Ok. Harry Potter about you-know-who. Harry Potter? The Harry Potter? About the you-know-who? You're Harry Potter. Harry Potter' she was now gaping at him, her eyes going from his scar to the piece of parchment with his name on and back to the scar

'Wonderful, I'm happy that we know each other's names' Harry said very dryly, wondering if this woman was even qualified to be a secretary and not in fact some escaped mental asylum patient

'Actually I never told you mine' she said rather breathlessly, as she imagined her friends' faces when she told them she'd met Harry Potter and that he was even better looking in person

'And I hope you never do, putting a name to the voice and face might just give me nightmares.' Harry visibly shuddered but the secretary merely gaped at him missing the insult, so he continued, 'but would you be a good little nameless girl and tell Mr McInnes I wish to see him'

'Right-away, if you'd like to take a seat' the now hopelessly infatuated secretary smiled as she backed away and in doing so bumped into her own desk before managing to find the right door to her boss' office

Mere seconds later Harry was ushered into an office where a very curious man was waiting for him

'Hello I'm Angus McInnes, head of the British auror department, how can I help you?' McInnes greeted looking the visitor up and down with interest as he motioned him to sit opposite him

'It's more like how I can help you' Harry said seriously as he accepted the offer of a seat

'Oh really?' the older man raised an eyebrow 

'Really. How would you like to capture Voldemort?' Harry asked leaning forwards as McInnes other eyebrow shot up to join the first

About an hour later, Harry had finished detailing his plan and McInnes who had stayed practically silent throughout leant back in his chair stroking his chin thoughtfully 

'So will you back me up?' Harry asked growing restless after watching a few minutes of silent chin stroking

'How old are you?' McInnes asked casting his scrutinising eyes over Harry once again

'Seventeen'

'Maybe you should wait a few years' McInnes said, sounding as remarkable over-protective as Sirius 

'Don't patronise me, I'm Harry Potter' Harry said extremely defensively, unable to believe that somebody was questioning him

'Don't believe your own press laddie, you'll meet a sticky end if you do' McInnes asked harshly

'Look I'll do this with or without you, do you want in or not?' Harry said coldly standing up as he prepared to storm from the room

'I can't pass up this opportunity' McInnes admitted with a half glare as Harry paused, before he stood up himself to say 'I'd just like to say ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?'

'Oh yes definitely' Harry grinned, unconcerned that the head of the auror department had just bellowed loud enough to scare pigeons for miles around. 'Now remember, 10 o'clock don't be late' he added cheekily as he let himself out of the office

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A/N: LOOK HERE, READ THIS. From this point onwards it is the Voldemort fight scene, if you really want you can skip down to the next author's note and hopefully it wont spoil your enjoyment of this story too much

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'Potter, I'm glad…' Voldemort said with a sneering laugh as Harry stepped inside

'Expelliarmus' Harry yelled almost lazily as he reached out his hand and grabbed Voldemort's wand as it came flying towards him

'What the..' Voldemort had rather obviously not been expecting this

'You see, I've worked out your problem, you always want to talk too much, it just wastes time' Harry explained very patiently grinning as Voldemort went from looking stunned to looking furious in about 2.65478 seconds 

'Boy give the wand back so we can duel like real wizards' Voldemort growled stepping menacingly forwards as Harry took a step back

'Hmm let me think, give the big scary man his wand back so he can kill me or not. I choose…not' 

'My deatheaters will force you to'

'Deatheaters?' Harry inquired as he glanced to his right and saw a large mass of his favourite black-cloaked wizards and smiled 'Oh those people, I thought they were just a little fan group of yours.' Spotting the one particular deatheater with a black eye visible under his hood Harry smirked 'Hi Avery, you been fighting? Looks like you lost'

'Stop it' Voldemort commanded growing rather annoyed with this game of Harry's, 

'Very well, I brought you all a little surprise' Harry said as though it was Christmas and brought his fingers to his lips and gave such a shrill whistle that several deatheaters winced. As though by magic (because it was), dozens of aurors burst into the room shooting out ropes at Voldemort who fell to the ground in a heap in the middle of the hall

Harry deciding that now Voldemort was tied up somewhere on the floor in the middle of all the fighting his work was done, moved towards the end of the room to lean against the wall and wait for his happy ending

However fifteen minutes later neither side had made any advantage other than a few cuts and bruises, so Harry felt obliged to intervene

'No no no no no, you're doing this all wrong. Everybody stop' Harry commanded with a rather annoyed sigh that he had to do everything, for some strange reason all the deatheaters and aurors did stop and look up onto the stage where Harry now had his wand drawn. 'Accio deatheaters wands' Harry cried and ducked quickly, dropping his own wand in the process when every single deatheater wand flew towards him, 'ooo goody it worked'

And the battle begun again 

'Very impressive' a voice said from behind Harry

Harry spun round quickly in surprise to see Voldemort stood there twirling his wand menacingly

'How the hell did you do that?' Harry stuttered in complete shock and suddenly wishing he hadn't dropped his wand

'Wandless magic' Voldemort said with a dismissive shrug and an evil dark lord glint in his eye

'How interesting, I'll have to try that sometime' Harry said hoping he sounded a lot more nonchalant than he felt and wishing he had brought some potion with him

'It's a shame but you'll never get a chance as I plan to kill you now' Voldemort's smirk now grew into a manic grin, which didn't make Harry feel any safer

'I don't like that plan much' Harry muttered stepping backwards and trying to decide what to do, McInnes and two other aurors were now fighting their way towards Harry and behind them another deatheater was being knocked unconscious and dragged away. 

Voldemort observed all this thoughtfully and waved his wand bathing the room in red light before turning back to Harry who was inching ever closer to his own wand

'I hope our next encounter is this much fun. You have a rendezvous with death Potter; do make sure you're not late for it' Voldemort hissed through a smirk as he yelled 'apparate'. 

And suddenly the room was empty of all deatheaters and Voldemort

'Damn it, why didn't you secure the area?' Harry yelled in frustration realising that Voldemort had escaped unhurt 

'We did, he just tore down our strongest forcefields' McInnes yelled back as he tried to work out, just who was captured and whether any of his aurors were injured 

'Did you at least catch Lucius Malfoy?' Harry asked

'We caught four deatheaters, but none of them was Mr Malfoy and there is no indication he is anything other than a employee of the ministry of magic'

'You must be blind, tell me you at least caught Peter Pettigrew' Harry pleaded wildly 

'Pettigrew was killed 15 years ago, the day after your parents, he died a hero, of course he's not a deatheater. You should just go and be grateful you're still alive' McInnes barked angrily, losing patience with Harry who he now assumed was absolutely crazy 

'You fools. I'll show you, I'll show you all, I will have my revenge on Malfoy and Pettigrew, you see if I don't' Harry hissed before storming from the hall in a fit of pure rage, which would not be worn off by a good night's sleep

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A/N: Well now that's out of the way, I think I will be avoiding Voldemort in this story, but never say never

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Less than twelve hours after his encounter with Voldemort, Harry was wandering round the lake of Hogwarts swigging large amounts of liquid from a potion bottle badly disguised in a paper bag. Ever since he'd woken up two hours previously the entire castle had known of his foul mood, his plate at breakfast had exploded, a group of first years who had dared to glance in his direction were now in tears been comforted by Hermione who had shot a look of pure venom at Harry who had merely smirked before sweeping out of the great hall in search of more fun

Harry didn't know why he'd never done this before; it was loads of fun especially because he really honestly didn't care who got hurt so long as he got to laugh. At the last count he'd upset seven people, but they'd all been Slytherin's and Hufflepuff's and Ron who had reacted badly to Harry's loud rendition of Pop goes the Weasley in the middle of the common room. So they really weren't hard, the real test was Gryffindor's.

As coincidence would have it an entire group of Gryffindor's, Hufflepuff's and Ravenclaw's was coming round the corner at that very moment. Harry put his potion back in his cloak pocket and eyed them all quickly sizing up his options, Dean and Ginny would just be too easy to annoy to be much fun, Parvati would probably twist anything he said in her delusional mind to make it seem as though he liked her. Ernie McMillan was still living in fear of the very sight of Harry, which was amusing in itself, most of the other Hufflepuffs had already being picked on by him. He was a bit worried that Padma might be like Parvati, so he didn't want to risk talking to her. So that left Terry Boot and Justin Finch-Fletchley who both played on their house Quidditch teams as well as the ever reliable and ever teasable Neville.

'Terry, Justin delightful to see you' Harry grinned very widely as he greeted the two boys who glanced rather nervously at each other and Harry could of sworn he'd seen Justin gulp in fear

'Hello Harry' Terry said finally

'Hi Harry' Justin said seconds afterwards, still looking rather nervous 

'Say you're not scared of spiders are you?' Harry asked what appeared to be a completely random question 

'I don't really like them, why?' Justin asked now sounding suspicious, Harry was sure Ernie McMillian had been spreading wild stories about him around his house which in fact pleased him immensely 

'Because there's one the size of a tarantula on your robes' Harry said calmly and as both the Ravenclaw and the Hufflepuff spun round in horror, Harry planted the magically enlarged spider on the back of Justin's cloak

'Stay calm Justin I'll get it off' Terry said trying to calm down both himself and Justin, who was now hopping from foot to foot wildly 

'No, please let me' Harry said grinning wickedly as Terry stepped aside and allowed Harry to raise his wand while clearing his throat dramatically

'Sepentosia.' Harry yelled and the snake shot out Harry's wand onto Justin's cloak eating the spider and then falling to the ground

'There we go' Harry beamed at the boys happily, only Terry and Justin who were both now pure white from terror were stupidly staring silently at the snake which was staring straight back

And as they both regained their senses there came an almighty:

'Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh' as two petrified teenagers ran the fastest they'd ever run in their lives towards the castle

'What? Lads? Come back. I got rid of the spider, didn't I? Ungrateful sods, last time I help them.' Harry muttered reaching for his potion bottle as he turned away and caught a glimpse of Neville now all alone walking towards the castle. 

Deciding this was obviously fate calling him, he ran to catch his classmate unaware that Hermione's eyes were now following his every move from the Gryfindor tower

'Hey Nev. You don't mind if I call you Nev do you? It's just that Neville is so boring, don't you think?' Harry said breathlessly startling Neville

'Hi Harry, if you're looking for Ron he's just gone to the common room' Neville said unsure of exactly what Harry wanted

'I'm not looking for him. We're friends aren't we?' Harry asked

'Course we are' Neville replied quickly and actually meaning it

'Excellent' Harry grinned taking another swig from his bottle

'Erm what are you drinking? It's not alcohol is it?' Neville asked cautiously 

'Oh no, it's not alcohol; it's definitely not alcohol. Want to try some?' Harry held the bottle out 

'No thanks, it doesn't look like my kind of thing'

'Your loss. Does Trevor want some?' Harry asked spotting the toad peering out from Neville's cupped hands

'No thank you, what did you say it was?' Neville asked

'Just a little something to keep my spirits up' Harry replied grinning again

'Like a pepper-up potion to give you energy?' Neville suggested looking slightly more relieved now that he was fairly sure Harry wasn't drunk

'Let's take a walk round the lake, give Trev and Nev some air' Harry said avoiding the question

'Well I was going to do my potions homework' Neville said slowly not wanting to annoy Harry

'Who needs potions, Snape can just go boil his head in his cauldrons' Harry dismissed the argument with a wave of his hand as though things were really that simple 

'Harry you know he scares me' Neville said rather reproachfully 

'Well I should teach him a lesson' Harry's smirk reappeared as he drew his wand

'Please don't do anything, it'll only make it worse' Neville begged, tugging on Harry's sleeve 

'Nonsense, look here he comes now' Harry said and before Neville realised what was happening his toad was flying through the air

'Arggh' Snape yelled, he had been about 500 metres from Harry and Neville walking back with the Slytherin Quidditch team after observing their practice when something slimy hit him in the head

'Sir are you alright?' one of the Slytherin chasers asked 

'WHAT WAS THAT?' Snape looked absolutely furious and it was at this point that Harry disappeared under his invisibility cloak leaving Neville to simply stare at the scene unfolding in front of him

'Look sir it's that toad of Longbottom's' Draco Malfoy said not bothering to keep the glee from his voice as he pointed to the toad, which was fine apart from been rather dazed and was now hopping away 

'Longbottom? I should have known' Snape snarled 

'He's right over there sir' another member of the oh so helpful Slytherin team pointed to Neville who was trembling with fear

'Longbottom get over here now, what is the meaning of pelting toads at me' Snape bellowed

'But sir it wasn't…..' Neville began to stutter out an explanation, which Snape cut short

'Don't even try to lie to me, by the time I'm finished dealing with you, you won't know what country you're in, let alone what the day of the week is'

'Although it is Longbottom, he probably didn't know that to begin with' Draco said as everyone laughed cruelly, leaving poor Neville to face the wrath of the furious Snape and Harry to escape 

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If there was some kind of world record for falling out with as many people as possible in one day, then surely by now Harry had broken it. However remembering the old saying to 'never do anything by halves', the two most important people to fall out with should be coming up at any moment and sure enough the moment he stepped into the common room he came face to face with Hermione who looked angrier than he could ever remember her been before. 

'I know what you just did, you should apologise to Neville' Hermione stood hand on hips glaring straight at him and a few students scuttled past her anxious to avoid been caught in the cross-fire of this inevitable argument 

'I disagree' Harry said pouring the last drops of the potion into his mouth and throwing the bottle away

'If you don't stop this, I'll tell on you' Hermione issued her ultimatum, not even noticing the discarded bottle, as she was too angry with Harry

'You better not do that or I'll….' Harry growled taking a step forwards but Hermione stood her ground, her lips curled in a emotion between complete fury and hate

'Or you'll what? You'll duel me as well? Go on Harry challenge me to a duel' she cut Harry off and for a few seconds his eyes flickered with something close to pain

'No' he said finally

'Come on, if you're going to act like a Slytherin you might as well do it properly' Hermione egged him on, her eyes glinting with something indescribable as she pulled her wand out 

'I'm nothing like a Slytherin' Harry said fiercely 

'You could have fooled me' Hermione said with a snort, her knuckles now white from how tightly she was gripping her wand. 

'Why are you doing this?' Harry asked staring intently at her

'I think the question should be why are you doing this? At first I was nothing but happy that you'd finally stood up for yourself and weren't going to put up with any nonsense anymore. But you've gone too far this time, either change or lose my friendship' Hermione said furiously looking for all the world as though she was fighting an internal battle as to whether to curse Harry or not

'I can't change, it's too hard and I've no reason to' Harry let his wand drop to the floor as he spoke in a voice so tired and lost that Hermione's eyes showed sorrow for a brief moment before turning hard again

'Then I guess you were never the guy I thought you were, in which case we were never even friends to begin with' she said in a harsh whisper sounding as though she was choking back tears. 

And with that she turned and fled up the stairs leaving a dumbfounded Harry staring silently ahead of him his mouth open for ages processing what had just happened, before he smirked suddenly and bent slowly picking his wand up and heading down to the kitchens for a quick sandwich 

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Returning to his dormitory half an hour later, he found Ron sat on his bed as though he was waiting for him

'You'll never believe what Hermione just said to me' Harry burst out, as he was struck with a sudden strange urge to tell Ron everything he was feeling

'Yes I will, because she told me and I agree with her' Ron's voice was stony and his eyes focused elsewhere

'You agree with her?' Harry asked in disbelief, scarcely able to believe what was happening for the second time that night

'Yes' Ron's voice hadn't changed at all

'You're meant to be my best friend' Harry said in small voice trying to comprehend what was happening and reaching for his drink only to remember that he'd already finished it

'Well you haven't been acting like mine recently' Ron turned to face Harry his eyes full of accusations. Harry could only feel the uncontrollable anger rising in him

'Fine, I don't need either of you anyway' he spat in disgust storming out of the room.

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Down in the empty common room, Harry's anger soon faded to be replaced with self-pity and sorrow, he sat wallowing for an hour before becoming angry again, but this time with himself and he grabbed the nearest book off a pile Hermione had left behind and hurled it as hard as he could at the wall. The book hit with a loud thud and something fell out, Harry bent to pick it up and found himself holding a picture of a happy Harry, Hermione and Ron taken only a year ago. 

And as Harry stared at the picture, he knew what had to be done and in the blink of an eye, Harry was no longer in the common room but a golden lion could be seen sprinting through the grounds of Hogwarts.

And at this point an old man stood up in the Gryffindor common room, where he had not been visible a few seconds earlier and sighed as he picked up the forgotten potion bottle from earlier and pocketed it. A lot of pieces of the Harry Potter puzzle had fallen into place tonight, but what the final picture would be would be up to the boy himself

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A/N: Actually it'll be up to me, and believe me now that I've got this chapter out of the way you won't be able to read fast enough to keep up. The next chapter will be the explanations and such and after that get ready for comedy all the way with Harry's attempts at matchmaking, Harry and Hermione, Sirius, the biggest confrontation yet with Draco and a visit to the Dursley's 

Oooo this chapter had 4000 words; I'm quite frankly amazed

I'm very sorry for grammar and spelling mistakes, I was just rushing to get this chapter out before I get too much college work piled on again. Honestly at some point I will get round to correcting all my stories

As always please review


	7. The lamest explanation ever in the histo...

The lamest explanation ever in the history of story writing: _Vexerunt coniunctim Scapha magica_

Disclaimer: Surprising thought this may be, I don't actually own any part of the Harry Potter empire

A/N: It was only a month since I last updated and that's quite good for me, you of course might disagree and that is your right. So this isn't going to be anyone's favourite chapter but it should tie up loose ends, or at least make a really lame half-hearted attempt to do so and then the fun starts again, I promise the next chapter will make you laugh

Oooo 4000 words, aren't you the lucky ones?

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A loud hammering arose Remus Lupin from where he was snoozing in front of the fire, realising that it was in fact someone at the door and not some weird dream he answered it to come face to face with Harry 

'Where's Sirius?' Harry asked panting, out of breath from his long run

'He's out' Remus said simply showing no surprise as he allowed Harry into his small front room

'Professor Lupin, I mean Mr Lupin, it's important, I need to see him now' Harry said hovering in the doorway

'I assure you he will be back soon, please sit down' Remus said as he took his own advice and sank back down into his tatty and very old armchair scrutinising Harry closely 

'I'll stand' Harry said

'I insist you sit, I'd feel a bad host otherwise. Tell me what you've been up to' Remus said forcefully but with a small tight smile on his face, and Harry taken aback by the rather threatening nature of Remus in his own home sat silently in the chair next to him

'Nothing much' Harry said shortly with a shrug

'I rather think duelling Voldemort is something' Remus pointed out, taking Harry completely by surprise with the calm manner in which he said it and the fact that he knew at all

'Oh' Harry said rather lamely 

'Oh indeed, it was naïve of you to think that nobody would find out about that. Is it what you're here to talk to Sirius about?' Remus asked fixing Harry with a stern look that made the younger man feel extremely uncomfortable and wonder why of all the places in the world he could have come, he had chosen this run down shack in the middle of nowhere

'No'

'In that case I will address the issue. Voldemort is not somebody who will be intimidated just because you wear a leather jacket, he is a dangerous man and you should try to avoid him rather than seeking out confrontations' there was no humour and no attempt to protect Harry's feelings in the manner in which Remus spoke

'I thought that was my job, defeat Voldemort whatever the cost' Harry said very sullenly

'I will concede that you are undeniable linked with Voldemort, but this is no excuse for your actions, this isn't a game' 

'Life's just a game' Harry said slouching in his seat and not expecting the sharp torrent of response that Remus was about to give

'This is not the time for smart comments, you may suddenly think you're unbeatable and better than everyone else simply because you have an attitude problem, but you're wrong. There are many people wiser and brighter than you are and some who remain magically stronger than you, such as Voldemort. People look to you as a source of hope and guidance, but you cannot single-handedly defeat the world's evil, however if you pull yourself together, you can be a great help. Do you understand?' Remus finished speaking and looked intently at an extremely stunned Harry who seemed to be taking time to digest all he'd just heard

'Yeah' Harry said rather quietly, finally meeting Remus' eyes and looking a little bit scared, which brought a small brief smile to Remus' face

'Sirius is back now. I'll leave you two alone. I hope next time we meet, it'll be under happier circumstances' Remus' werewolf senses could apparently sense even the quietest and stealthiest Azkaban escapees and he stood up to go and inform Sirius that they had an unexpected late night visitor

'It can't be any worse' Harry said looking very downtrodden, Remus paused briefly in the doorway long enough to turn back with his eyes full of pain and mutter

'Luckily you do not remember just how much worse it can be'

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'Sirius you have to help me' Harry babbled furiously jumping up as soon as Sirius entered the room, Sirius looked very surprised and firmly sat Harry back down 

'Relax, I know what your problem is' the escaped convict (who was now a bit less lean and had long hair again which kept falling into his eyes) said calmly as he took a seat opposite his godson

'You do? What?' Harry asked, he hadn't expected such an easy answer

You're feeling sorry for yourself and the solution is simple, shallow your mistaken pride, say you're sorry and admit you were wrong' Sirius said it as though it was the simplest thing in the world to do

'No, never' Harry said filled with horror, he very clearly felt that saying sorry would be the hardest course of action. He might feel bad for how he'd treat them, but saying sorry would just be too hard 

'Do you want to have your friends back or not?' Sirius asked simply

'Yes but…' Harry started to waver and Sirius saw this and jumped in

'Harry you know that your parents died to give you this chance of life, if you screw this up just because of a few silly arguments then I'll have failed them and even worse I'll have failed my duty to you as a godfather'

'I…' words failed Harry, he had never seen Sirius been this openly emotional with him before and it had completely thrown him, he could only vaguely remember glimpses and flashes of happy emotions before now and they had all been with Ron and Hermione, who now hated him. But Sirius had been watching Harry and was now confident that everything would be fine 

'You'll do it, I know you will. You're a good boy Harry, you make mistakes we all do, it's when you make the same mistake twice that people will get angry. You need to talk to Dumbledore and get yourself sorted out and apologise to McGonagall while you're at it' Sirius said with great conviction that Harry really would do all these things, he may not have much faith in the Ministry but in his Godson he was unmoveable 

'Heard about that did you?' Harry said rather sheepishly fidgeting in his seat

'Have you not learnt yet? Nothing you do in the wizarding world is secret. And you know that I didn't help you become an animagus so that you could perform party tricks' Sirius said, his voice sounding stern and serious but his eyes betraying the fact that he had found the McGonagall and Harry's lion story rather amusing

'I'm sorry Sirius, it won't happen again' Harry said sincerely and Sirius' face broke out into an extremely rare broad grin

'See that didn't hurt too much, did it?' Sirius declared happily and Harry shook his head in agreement. 'Now you better be getting back to Hogwarts before you get into trouble, I'm going away again for a while, but I'll come and see you at Christmas if I can' he said looking much graver as he prepared to leave the room

'Sirius' Harry said hesitantly

'Yes' Sirius turned back with his cloak in his hand, actually it was an old cloak of Remus' by the look of it, but that wasn't the point

'I…Thanks, I'm going to make this up to you, I promise' 

'Harry I broke out of Azkaban for you, I'm not going to quit just because you broke a few school rules' Sirius said firmly trying to convince Harry of his words

'All but eleven' Harry admitted bashfully (even though in his defence, Ron and Hermione had broken a lot of the same rules) and Sirius' eyebrow shot up in amazement but he seemed rather proud in a strange sort of way

'Harry, I'm not giving up on you, not ever.' And with that reassurance Sirius was gone and Harry was left to sort out the mess he had made at Hogwarts on his own never knowing exactly how Remus had found out about his fight with Voldemort but having a worrying suspicion that if Remus knew, then Dumbledore would too

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A few hours later Harry was back at Hogwarts and searching for a teacher who would tell him the password to Dumbledore's office, he hoped to find somebody like Flitwick but as luck would have it the only teacher around was McGonagall who was still in her classroom. Looking on the bright side she was still better than Snape, but not by much

'Erm, hello Professor McGonagall' Harry said rather tentatively as he stepped into the room

'Good day Mr Potter' McGonagall looked up from the pile of papers on the desk with a small frown across her face

'Are you busy?' Harry asked as politely as he could

'Yes' she said very sharply

'Oh' Harry said not knowing what to say next, but McGonagall who realised he was still stood there spoke again

'Did you want something or have you come to apologise for all the disruption you have caused this year' she asked very sarcastically

'Yes of course, I really am so very sorry about that and I promise you it will never happen again if I could just see Dumbledore' Harry said quickly and looking very sincere

'Do you really expect me to believe that?' McGonagall gave a snort of derision, she had heard all about how Harry had tricked Trewlaney, and if he thought a McGonagall would be fooled he was very wrong 

'Well, yes' Harry said with a shrug of confusion as to what he could do, McGonagall then proceeded to stare at him as though she were competing in the grand final of the World staring championships. This only served to confuse Harry further as he looked over his shoulder to try and see what McGonagall was glaring at, he finally decided that she had some kind of medical disorder. 

'I will take you to Dumbledore but only because he has asked to see you anyway' McGonagall said standing up with an exasperated sigh as she finally gave up glaring at Harry as it was having little effect

'Thank you' Harry said with a nervous smile following McGonagall into the corridor, hoping that McGonagall's medical disorder wasn't going to turn her into some kind of psychopathic murderer

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'Mr Potter, sit down, we have not spoken this year' Dumbledore said gravely as the gargoyle sprung silently aside to reveal Harry waiting in the doorway and McGonagall hurrying back to her classroom

'I suppose not' Harry said evenly entering the office

'However I have heard increasingly worrying accounts of your behaviour and feel it is time we discussed it'

'Snape squealed' Harry accused immediately, scowling with dislike

'Nobody has done anything of the sort, but I do rather wish that somebody had as you so eloquently described it, squealed, it could have saved me much time. But while I would never dream of claiming I know everything that happens here, in fact far from it, I do still know a lot, especially where you are concerned'

'What are you a spy or something?' Harry narrowed his eyes suspiciously, it would be fair to say that he was getting rather paranoid, probably as a result of Sirius and Mad-Eye-Moody

'You have broken a lot of rules this year and while you have received special treatment so far, this behaviour will no longer be tolerated. I know a lot more than you seem to think I do about your activities' Dumbledore completely ignored Harry's remark as he spoke very sternly

'What the hell do you know?' Harry asked smirking seriously doubting that Dumbledore knew anything at all when it came to him

'I know about your fights with friends and Mr Malfoy, I know where you were last night, I know of your behaviour in lessons, I know about the potion and I know you are better than this' Dumbledore said and Harry had just been about to make a sharp retort when something Dumbledore had said hit him

'You know about the potion?' Harry questioned looking amazed, feeling the anger rush from him to be replaced with the cold dread of fear

'I do now and perhaps I am at fault for not realising sooner, but I am not as young as I was and I had assumed you were merely experiencing a rebellious streak' Dumbledore said stroking his beard thoughtfully as his intense blue eyes burned into Harry as though reading his soul

'You know about the potion?' Harry repeated suddenly wondering why he had ever wanted the potion to begin with; he was terrified of what the repercussions might be of his actions

'Yes and if you keep taking it you are in grave danger of losing both your friends and personality because you won't be able to stop yourself and I will be forced to consider your place at Hogwarts if I hear you have been making illegal potions again' Dumbledore said leaving Harry in no doubt that he meant it and with some hope that he might be able to stay at Hogwarts after all

'I'll stop taking it' Harry promised sincerely, meaning every word he said and vowing to himself that if he ever even thought about taking the potion ever again he would only have to imagine the disgust on Ron and Hermione's faces when they had looked at him to stop himself

'I believe you but you must hand any boonslang you have left over to Professor Snape, it is an illegal ingredient for any student to have and I think I am right in assuming you do wish to remain a student here' the twinkle was lurking just out of reach in Dumbledore's eyes

'Yes I do sir' Harry said respectfully sounding so much like the old Harry had done that Dumbledore didn't even try this time to prevent the twinkle and smile that returned to his face

'And on other matters, Sirius and Remus both know what they are talking about, you must listen to them. Your motorbike requires both a helmet and a licence and must not be kept on school grounds, earrings are strictly forbidden, your tattoo must be concealed during class time and your animagus form must be registered' Dumbledore certainly knew his school rules, possibly because he had written many of them and he hadn't been lying when he'd said he knew a lot of what went on around Hogwarts

'Thank you professor, I won't let you down' Harry said smiling slightly

'I would hope not, Hogwarts needs you more than you realise' Dumbledore smiled as he led Harry to the door that led back to the rest of the Hogwarts population who still considered Harry to be a maniac

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Now there was only the two most important people in Harry's life to try and make up with, he clambered into the common room and as people moved out of his way either purposely ignoring him or scurrying away from him

'I'd like to explain things' Harry said nervously as he walked over to where Ron and Hermione were studying, Ron completely ignored him

'Did you hear someone talk Ron? Because there's an annoying buzzing round here' Hermione looked straight through Harry 

'Please let me explain, after that you have my permission to hate me' Harry begged, knowing that he had no-one to blame but himself for his friends present attitude towards him

'I never needed your permission, now get a move on I'm busy' Hermione snapped so harshly that even Ron looked up in surprise as Harry visibly flinched

'I'm so sorry for everything horrible I've said to you both this year, I was completely out of line and I hate myself for it' Harry said looking a broken man when Ron and Hermione still stared icily back at him

'It's a bit late for sorry' Hermione said with her lips curling in a slight very un-Hermione like sneer

'I know, I just wanted to tell you both why I did it' Harry tried to explain

'Make excuses you mean' Ron said glaring fiercely 

'Well maybe, yes, I suppose it all came down to me but I was taking a potion called _Vexerunt coniunctim Scapha magica_ which just made things worse' Harry blurted out desperately preparing himself for that disgust he felt sure was about to come his way from Ron and Hermione

'Huh?' Ron asked looking both suspicious and confused, but Hermione gave a large sigh as her stance visibly softened

'It's like a drug, it can give you bursts of energy, strength and courage but it has serious side-effects on your health and mind. I should have guessed something like that was going on. Why'd you do it Harry?' she asked, Harry knew that it wasn't the right time to ask how she knew about it when it had taken him almost a year to find it but that didn't stop him marvelling at her brilliance 

'I spent the whole summer alone after the fourth year thinking of all the things that seem to happen because of me, everyone gets hurt. So I came to the conclusion that if I could be really strong then I could protect everybody, especially you two. And I studied books from the restricted section of the library late at night and finally I found a potion that sounded perfect, it would give you fearlessness and motivation'

'That's illegal' Ron put in, still not looking very convinced by what was going on and looking to Hermione for some sort of signal as to what to do

'I know, I was only going to do it once, but it became addictive and I didn't feel I could get through the day without it. But the fearlessness turned to just not caring about what anybody thought or felt and the motivation became an obsession with my physical strength'

'You mean this is your real body, you didn't drink lots of engorgement potions as well?' Hermione asked looking a lot calmer than before but still slightly suspicious

'No, I just lifted so many weights and drank so many health shakes that it became all I did apart from read books on duelling to win' Harry spoke truthfully and if Ron or Hermione ever wanted to ask the Dursley's for proof of this, then they would discover that Harry had indeed spent most of his summer locked in his room, not that that was unusual

'Why didn't you tell us this, we're your friends we could have helped you' Hermione asked looking hurt and torn between anger and sadness at Harry

'It just got to the stage where I didn't see that I needed help, I just thought I didn't need anybody anymore when in actual fact I needed you both more than ever' Harry said with a tentative smile at them both, which Ron returned after a brief pause

'Well you've got us now, right Hermione?' Ron turned to one of his best friend's for support, it had to be said that once somebody had admitted they were wrong Ron wasn't one to hold a grudge. Harry held his breath as Hermione stared at Harry deep in thought

'Right, we're not losing our best friend just because he made one stupid mistake' Hermione agreed with conviction

'Actually he's made loads of stupid mistakes, remember him asking Cho to the ball, that was hilarious and the time he said the wrong thing in Charms and blew up the desk, even Seamus would have been proud' Ron said laughing at the memories as he tried to move his two best friends back together again to their trio

'What Ron is attempting to say is that we're going to get through this together, so long as you stop taking that potion, I think you'll soon be able to stop wanting to hit everyone' Hermione cut in rolling her eyes at how quickly Ron could change emotions, but realising that she was doing the same thing. But it was hard to stay mad at Harry when he was trying so hard to change

'Ok' Harry agreed with a weak smile of happiness

'Except Malfoy' Ron said as an aside to Harry

'Except Malfoy' Harry repeated dutifully

'Honestly, I mean everyone' Hermione said glaring at both boys 

'But he needs to use his strength for something useful and nothing could be better than beating Malfoy into a pile of pulp' Ron protested 

'As I was saying I'm sure we can somehow learn to love the extremely good-looking, more powerful and very fanciable friend that you are' Hermione managed the remarkable: to smile at Harry while glaring at Ron for encouraging violence

'Cheers' Harry said, with a glimpse of what Parvati swooned at as his 'ravishing grin'

'Erm I just like you in a strong masculine way' Ron said in a rather gruffer than usual voice, looking extremely worried

'I kinda guessed that' Harry said slowly his grin fading slightly 

'Just making sure, we don't want to have any misunderstandings' Ron breathed a sigh of relief as he gave Harry what could be considered a very male show of support, the slap on the shoulder

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A/N: Well there it was, chapter 7

Some notes to reviewers:

Mogliecat – This one might have been kinda sad as well, but honestly from now on it'll be fun, fun, fun

All Mighty Terrestrial – After this chapter no more potion and that means 'bad' Harry can be more amusing than ever, simply because it's my story and that's the way I'm going to write it

Stoneheart – As it happens chapter 6 was edited because one of the scenes gave too much away, but in chapter 5 Voldie had sent a messenger (Avery) to Harry to meet him probably so he could test out this new Harry, but who knows how the mind of an evil genius works. And the title is especially for you, it's a clue for things to come, I'm very sorry for the lamest explanation ever told but I'll now go back to the humour

ADJ – Funniest Voldemort scene? I'm touched, I'm glad that somebody found it amusing

Rodrigo – 1. You were right it was Dumbledore. 2. Right again, they did unite, hmm maybe you should write this story instead of me

VipyGirl831 – You're right Harry did deserve it, but now after the fastest recovery in human history (outside of those soaps where somebody's husband dies and the next week she's over it and dating his best friend) we can all look forwards to lots of laughs

MonkeyHood – Erm I've never heard of Squall or FF8, but after doing a google search I have discovered that you are talking about Final Fantasy but after that I was just rather confused, is it just another Japanese animation thing or what?

archforge – Pegasus, thank you so much, I completely couldn't remember, I will get round to changing that. Cheers

And thank you to Aubs2006, sailorstargirl13, Linz, leogrl, smallville-chickie, vampires-kiss, Silver, GoddessMoonLady and every other reviewer I may have accidentally missed or who left no name

Ok that's it the serious stuff is finished, no more seriousness ever in this story, now prepare yourselves for the ultimate Harry/Draco showdown, Harry's disastrous attempts to matchmake, a visit to the Dursleys, the hunt for Peter Pettigrew and the introduction of Cho

PLEASE REVIEW, if you want to flame you can but lets just bare in mind that from now on the seriousness stops and the fun begins again


	8. Duel with Draco, matchmaking Ron and Her...

Disclaimer: These          characters         are       not       owned              by        me. Was that simple enough for everyone?

A/N: Well I'm back again, over 6000 words this time, bloody hell these chapters just get longer and longer. Only a couple of weeks wait this time, not too bad is it? Anyway I don't want to make you read even more than you have to, so please start the special Christmas present from me to all my lovely reviewers chapter

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'Potter I hear you're handing out apologies, do I not get one?' Snape's oily tones cut into the trio's conversation, as they were about to leave the Potions room after yet another horrible afternoon spent in the Dungeons

'Would you like one?' Harry asked looking very uncertain and with the suspicious feeling that he was going to lose points whatever he said

'I most certainly would not, I've never heard anything so insulting, ten points from Gryffindor' Snape said looking as though he had been mortally stung by Harry's words, an apology from a Potter was obviously too much for him to bear

'Yes professor' Harry said neutrally trying not to antagonise the Potions master further

'I don't like your tone of voice, you should show me more respect, five points from Gryffindor' Snape said with narrowed eyes as he glared at Harry 

'Yes professor' Harry replied meekly

'Answering me back hey, another five points off' Snape shouted. By now Malfoy who had stayed to see Harry told off was practically on the floor from how hard he was laughing, Harry tried remaining silent and ignoring Malfoy but only succeeded in infuriating Snape further as he snapped 'Not answering me at all, ten points from Gryffindor'

'But professor' Hermione finally tried to cut in, deciding that enough was really quite enough

'Miss Granger five points off Gryffindor for interrupting. Mr Weasley perhaps you'd like to add something?' Snape spun round to Harry's best friends viciously as they looked at him horrified, Ron shook his head firmly in alarm 'No? Very well then you may go'

And with that Harry, Ron and Hermione fled from Snape who was clearly in a very anti-Gryffindor mood, with thirty points less for Gryffindor (which Hermione would later make up in Herbology) and leaving behind them a very cocky Draco Malfoy who was spreading the story around the school. But this was one Malfoy who Harry intended to show up as the largest cheating lying scumbag Hogwarts had ever seen, and who better to teach such a lesson than Harry himself

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For an entire week Harry had been busy trying to please his teachers, ok Snape hadn't really appreciated it and McGonagall still glared at him whenever anything went wrong but things were slowly started to settle down to as normal as they had ever been before. However he'd been so busy trying to be good that he hadn't seen Draco once outside of lessons, this was partly because Harry wasn't completely sure he'd be able to restrain himself from punching Malfoy as soon as he opened his mouth and he didn't want to upset Hermione so he'd avoided the ferret. But now Harry was confident that he could deal with Malfoy in a responsible and mature manner so when he saw Malfoy headed straight for him after one Quidditch practice he stopped to have a little chat with his favourite piece of slime

'Malfoy' Harry greeted with a forced smile that didn't reach his eyes

'Ah Potter, I'd been under the impression you were avoiding me' Draco opened his side of the conversation with his customary smirk

'And why would I want to do that? I can always close my eyes so that I don't have to see your ugly mug' Harry shot back

'I think you're scared, I heard all about your late night raid with the aurors, that went a bit wrong didn't it? Shame the mudblood wasn't there, with any luck they might have got rid of her, done us all a favour' Draco practically licked his lips with relish at the thought of Hermione been killed and like any sane person would, Harry saw red

'You bloody deatheater, you don't deserve to be a wizard, you're a disgrace to the name' he spat looking absolutely furious and struggling to stop himself from committing the violent murder of Draco Malfoy, his head was already telling him what to plead _'I did it for the sake of humanity I tell you, for humanity'_

'Go cry to mummy' Draco clearly hadn't finished his latest round of insulting Harry and as Harry's scowl grew to a full on glare he added, 'Oops I forgot, you can't', and after more glaring came his way he taunted 'What's the matter? Nothing to say?'

'Don't talk about my mother like that' Harry demanded angrily 

'Why not? You never knew her, neither did I, so we have something in common' Draco drawled with obvious amusement in his voice

'Shut your mouth now Malfoy' Harry growled 

'Make me. Or are you too scared of breaking rules in front of your precious Dumbledore?' 

'I'm not scared of anything' Harry finally pulled out his wand, his hand shaking with suppressed rage      

'No need to be so aggressive, I'm just talking' Draco took a step back smirking again, although if you had looked closely it could be seen that he was slightly nervous of Harry now that he was armed

'Well I don't like the topic of conversation' 

'Don't you like talking about mudbloods?' Draco asked pretending to be surprised

'What are you going on about?' Harry asked suspiciously wondering just what Draco was playing at 

'Filthy disgusting mudbloods. There's your mudblood mother and that mudblood girlfriend Granger and–' 

'That's it. Does the offer of a duel still stand' Harry cut in and shouted loudly at the Slytherin

'Huh?' it was now Draco's turn to look confused, either not remembering his challenge at the start of the year or wishing that Harry had forgotten

'I accept your offer of a Wizard's duel' Harry said slowly to make sure that Draco heard every word

'Excellent, where and when?' Draco's lips curved in a cruel smile as he was probably thinking abut all the tricks he could use to try and defeat Harry

'Great Hall as soon as possible' Harry said decisively after a few seconds pondering the question

'You can't honestly expect us to duel in the great hall' Draco exclaimed thinking that Harry clearly had gone mad

'I do. Now let's see Dumbledore' Harry said

'Why would I want to do that, I've seen enough fools for one day' Draco sneered, making it very clear who he thought the other fool was but Harry was now completely calm again

'Because we will have a proper duel' Harry explained

'Proper?' Draco asked cautiously, worried that Harry might intend a duel to the death, because while Draco wanted nothing more than to see Harry in pieces in the infirmary he didn't want to risk his own life at all

'Yes, unless you want to back out?' Harry offered with a slight smirk, as he knew Draco was far too proud to do such a thing

'Let's go' Draco growled meeting Harry's challenge and striding off in front of him. Anyone who had seen them in the corridors would have been rather surprised, for Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter were walking side by side and there were no curses been exchanged, there was no pleasant conversation either, but it was still a strange sight.

*

'Good afternoon Professor Dumbledore' Harry greeted the head teacher politely after Draco had convinced Snape to take them into Dumbledore's office, Draco merely nodded slightly, which from a Malfoy was almost a sign of respect

'Mr Potter, Mr Malfoy, what can I do for you?' Dumbledore looked up from his desk rather surprised, looking as though he hoped the two weren't there for fighting. He had been suitably impressed with Harry's efforts to make amends so far and hoped he hadn't spoilt it

'Have you noticed that the students seem a bit restless recently, a bit depressed and rather bored?' Harry asked looking very innocent

'I can't say that I have' Dumbledore raised his eyebrow sounding rather amused

'Malfoy isn't that right?' Harry turned to the young man next to him his tone rather threatening but Malfoy didn't flinch at all

'Absolutely Potter, especially those Gryffindors, very boring' Malfoy drawled a small smirk on his lips

'I could have sworn I said bored' Harry sounded distinctly unimpressed

'Oops my mistake, how can that have happened?' Malfoy now gave his full smirk, his tone full of mock surprise

'Boys was there a reason for you two coming here?' Dumbledore had been watching two of the potentially most powerful wizards Hogwarts would ever produce with some interest not completely sure why they were there, but finding that each possessed a very sharp tongue which while of little use when fighting for a cause, either good or bad, was still amusing for the old man to watch

'Of course, me and Malfoy have had a splendid idea to cheer up everybody' Harry's grin now fell under the category of wicked 

'Have you really?' Dumbledore asked with mild interest as he stroked his phoenix, which had fluttered onto his shoulder, watched with great intrigue by Draco

'Yes a duel would get everyone excited and give them something to look forward to' Harry finally stated his point

'A wizard's duel between the two of you?' Dumbledore asked leaning forwards and fixing each boy with a very steely glare as he studied them intently

'Yes and I only mention this because some students are such disobedient little things that they might ignore rules and hold the duel late at night if they were told not to' Draco's drawl was kept to a minimum as he tried to sound off-hand and helpful, Harry almost looked impressed with his enemy but quickly thought better of it. Dumbledore remained silent watching the Slytherin and the Gryffindor closely weighing up the different options. He had little doubt that they would duel regardless of what he said and maybe it would be safer to allow them to duel under supervision, although it might cause house rivalries to grow further. 

'Well we can't have that can we, I see no harm in a proper duel so long as it is arranged properly and of course no unforgivable curses would be allowed' Dumbledore finally announced his decision

'Of course' Harry replied with a shocked look on his face that Dumbledore could even suspect him of wanting to curse Draco to hell and back

'See Professor McGonagall about been a referee for the duel, just to make sure nothing goes wrong. And without any unforeseen hitches you will be allowed the great hall two weeks on Saturday afternoon, I will make an announcement later this week' Dumbledore said as he stood up to lead the two youths to the door which sprang open at his approach. Draco didn't even look back as he swept from the room in a wonderful impression of Snape

'Thank you' Harry said gratefully to Dumbledore relishing the opportunity he was now given to defeat Draco once and for all in front of the entire school

*

'Want to back out now?' Malfoy asked smirking as Harry walked silently past him down the stairs

'You wish, I'll try not to blast you into too many pieces' Harry laughed over his shoulder as he continued to walk

'Just you worry about yourself, I'll worry about how exactly to finish you off.' Harry knew that Malfoy would be sneering while saying this even though he couldn't see his face. 

When he reached the bottom of the staircase and stopped, turning back to Draco

'Malfoy, you poor delusional sod, if you mess with me you will come off much the worse' Harry was incredulous that after every encounter this year Draco still thought he had more than a chance of merely surviving a duel with the legendary boy-who-lived

'I doubt that Potter, I doubt that' Malfoy said haughtily as went off towards to Slytherin common room

'Well he can't say I didn't warn him' Harry shook his head and shrugged to himself as he watched the far-too-cocky Slytherin walk off and a rather appropriate phrase sprang into his head – 'Pride comes before a fall', and Harry intended to prove how true that statement was. But now all he had to do was to tell Ron and Hermione the wonderful news, after all just how mad would Hermione be? 

In fact after careful consideration Harry decided to leave it a few days before telling Hermione the news, but Ron would be delighted to know now

*

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*

Harry was still desperately trying to make everybody see that he was extremely sorry for any trouble he had caused them and he had decided that he was going to make them all happy. He'd tidied up the whole Boy's dormitory scaring Dean and Seamus immensely in the process, he'd given Trevor the Toad a bath despite Neville's protestations that toads didn't need baths and now he was going to do something to help Hermione and Ron, (he had ignored Ron's protests that kicking Malfoy's sorry ass would be enough of an apology) the only problem was he couldn't think of anything.

Harry lay on his bed stretched out thinking hard while Ron read about the Cannon's latest defeat in the Daily Prophet, he knew he couldn't help Hermione with her studies and he couldn't buy Ron anything because they would be offended. But they were both single, and that was when it struck Harry what he could do for his best friends

'Ron, I've just realised you would be perfect for Hermione' he gasped as the proverbial light bulb flashed brightly over his head 

'As what, a verbal punch bag?' Ron asked looking up in confusion

'No, as her boyfriend' Harry said and Ron's face changed from confusion to shear horror in the blink of an eye

'I can't even begin to tell you what's wrong with that' Ron croaked looking rather ill at the prospect

'Don't be so silly, you were made for each other, I'll make you see sense' Harry grinned at the pale faced Ron as he left the room, he was sure that he was right about this, in fact he was sure he was right about everything

*

A few hours later Harry and Ron met Hermione in the common room, she'd just returned from an evening studying alone in the library 

'Hermione great news, Ron's your soul mate' Harry greeted brightly, as Ron groaned in horror

'Who's what?' Hermione spluttered looking for the entire world as though she was praying she had misheard. Then noticing Ron cowering behind Harry she turned to him with narrowed eyes

'Believe me I didn't put him up to this. Is there anything in those potion's side effects about going crazy?' Ron said very quickly looking scared of Hermione's wrath and worried that his best friend had completely flipped

'Look it all makes sense, the arguments, the, erm, arguments and did I mention the arguments?' Harry sighed patiently, he hadn't realised that Ron and Hermione would be this stubborn so he just needed to convince them

'We argue, so what?' Ron asked with a shrug

'It signifies a deep emotional attachment for each other' Harry explained

'No, it signifies a difference of opinion' Hermione snapped back

'You only think that because you don't know any better, just wait till you're married then you'll thank me'

'Married? You better be joking Harry' Hermione gasped in shock

'You think this is bad, you weren't there when he was planning names for our children' Ron said slumping down from exhaustion at Harry's relentless matchmaking

*

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Three days later Harry was till attempting to convince his best friends to date and it was proving to be very unrewarding work but he persevered anyway, driving Ron and Hermione crazy in the process

'Harry please stop all this Hermione and me stuff, you're making a big mistake' Ron begged as they got ready to go to bed, in only the last three hours Harry had charmed him to recite love poetry to Hermione whenever he spoke and the entire common room had heard

'Come off it you know she fancies somebody, she keeps going red and muttering like she did with Lockhart' Harry merely smiled at his best friend, he had by now grown used to the firm denials

'So she fancies somebody, doesn't have to be me' Ron argued

'Who else could it be?' Harry asked 

'Neville?' Ron said realising as he said it just how lame a guess that had been

'Those rows you have signify some deep emotional feelings' Harry explained for a billionth time exactly why Ron and Hermione were perfect for each other

'No they signify a personality clash. She argues with Malfoy as well and she's not likely to be jumping on him anytime soon'

'Ewww' Harry pulled a disgusted face as Ron achieved his desired aim of making Harry shut up and grossing him out in the process

'What's with the interest in Hermione's love life anyway?' Ron asked, suddenly wondering why Harry had decided to do all this

'Just curious' 

'Anyone would think you fancied her' Ron said with a hidden smirk as a thought he'd never had before popped into his head, that maybe Harry like Hermione

'What a completely preposterous idea, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard' Harry said just that bit too quickly for Ron to think Harry was been entirely straight with him

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Walking past the charms classroom on their way to visit Hagrid early one morning, Harry, Hermione and Ron suddenly heard a large bang and clatter behind them causing them all to turn in alarm and pull out their wands instinctively

'How did you get in?' Ron looked very surprised as his twin brothers stepped out from behind a statue brushing off a layer of dust that seemed to have settled over them

'Shame on you, that's no way to greet your elder brothers' Fred scolded Ron rather half-heartedly as he was shaking his head where he had managed to get the mysterious dust into his ears somehow, Harry suspected it was the result of a experiment gone wrong

'It is when they suddenly appear in a corridor of a school they left a year ago' Ron replied rather dryly

'We're just here on some business' George said proudly, trying to create a mysterious and important air around him

'Well you can go and carry on somewhere else'

'Fine with us, isn't it George?' Fred said with a shrug and a slight smirk which Ron missed as he turned to his other brother

'Yep, we were going to tell you about our new invention but I guess we'll just be on our way' George was also holding back a smile as the two boys began to walk away from the trio. Only they had succeeded with their aim of capturing their brother's interest

'WAIT' Ron called rather desperately looking as though he was fighting an internal battle

'Yes?' Fred spun round looking very puzzled as though he hadn't got a clue why Ron would have stopped him, Harry was rather amused by this as Ron was clearly frustrated at having to be nice to his brothers

'What is it?' Ron blurted out and the twins' grins grew so large that even Harry and Hermione became interested

'After months of research, we have finally invented a lie detector' the twins said in a tone of a discovery of great significance and Ron was indeed regarding them with awe. But Harry and Hermione spoilt the atmosphere by bursting into laughter, drawing highly indignant looks from Fred and George

'What's their problem?' Fred asked Ron, looking extremely puzzled; Ron shrugged his shoulder been as clueless as his brother on the matter

'Harry?' George asked the man himself

'Why don't you just use veritaserum?' Harry asked, remembering the incident in his fourth year when Dumbledore had used it

'Because it's really hard to get hold of, it takes years of potion training to even learn how to make it and some of the ingredients involved are almost impossible to find' George rolled his eyes and Harry's laughter immediately stopped to be replaced with one of intrigue, he'd never known that

'Right well Harry's just ignorant, Hermione how about you?' Fred turned to the only female in the group who was still laughing

'It's just that a lie detector was a new invention in the muggle world, about 50 years ago' Hermione managed to choke out in between bursts of laughter

'Well ours is much better, easy to make if you know how. But if you'll excuse us, we need to pay our favourite Charms teacher a little visit' George gave Hermione one last look of annoyance before heading towards Flitwick's room leaving Ron to ask all about muggle lie detectors

*

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*

Later that day toward the end of dinner Dumbledore stood up and cleared his throat loudly and then went through the usual ordeal of having to wait about five minutes for everyone to shut up

'I'm delighted to announce that two of our sixth years are going to be entertaining us next Saturday evening as they seem to think we need a boost to our morale. So after dinner that day Mr Draco Malfoy and Mr Harry Potter will be treating us to a specially sanctioned duel' Dumbledore smiled as the hall turned to look at Harry and then at Draco before turning to each other and chattering loudly completely missing the rest of what Dumbledore had to say about this been a one off and that nobody else was allowed to duel

At the Gryffindor table Harry was about to receive initial reaction from students, but he only cared about one of them

'He'll be doing what?' Hermione asked deeply suspicious as she looked up from her plate

'I do believe the man said duel' Dean said helpfully from further down the table and Hermione glared at him as Ron snorted, unwisely drawing attention to himself

'Ron why don't you seem surprised?' Hermione asked her eyes narrowing at the redhead 

'Because I'm not' Ron said simply apparently unconcerned at facing Hermione's wrath, or maybe just distracted by the pumpkin pie that had appeared on the table

'You told Ron and not me' Hermione turned to Harry still looking furious but now slightly upset as well

'I thought you might be just a little bit annoyed with me' Harry smiled weakly

'A little bit annoyed? I'm furious' Hermione snapped

'Ah then I guess this isn't the best time to ask if you want to go on a date with Ron next week' Harry sighed as he tore up plan 27 in his quest to get Ron and Hermione on a date together

'Give it up Harry, she doesn't fancy me and I don't fancy her' Ron paused long enough to speak before returning to his dessert

'Of course you do, but as Hermione's now just turned a rather nice purple colour I think I'll be going back to the common room' Harry said quickly sprinting from the hall as he noticed Hermione getting ready to lecture him on the dangers of duelling. Hermione growled in annoyance, and Ron looking round quickly, swapped his now empty plate for Harry's full one and happily tucked into another slice of pie

*

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By the next day Hermione had given up trying to lecture Harry as he simply ran away every time she opened her mouth, so she'd decided to leave the subject alone and keep her friendship with Harry instead. But at the moment she was engaging in a rather heated argument with Ron over the merits of house elf holidays, and it was during this debate that Harry came across them

'Are you sure there's nothing going on between you two?' Harry asked suspiciously, but not surprised to find his two best friends disagreeing again

'Absolutely positive' Hermione snapped looking up at him and completely forgetting her argument with Ron

'So you don't like Ron even a teensy weensy little bit' Harry asked sounding very sceptical

'Of course I do, but I don't fancy him' Hermione said sounding very frustrated and snatching up her quill again and attempting to add even more to her already twice as long as Ron and Harry's put together essay for Potions 

'And you don't fancy Hermione?' Harry turned to Ron having had no luck with Hermione

'I'll admit she's pretty but I don't fancy her'

'I don't believe you' Harry said stubbornly

'For goodness sake Harry what will it take to convince you?' Hermione slammed her quill back down with some force as she glared at him in annoyance

'Use Fred and George's lie detector' Harry said after a few minutes consideration on the matter, he'd had one of his very rare, but very useful strokes of genius

'I only have to answer questions about whether or not I fancy Ron?' Hermione asked cautiously, not really wanting to be a guinea pig for Fred and George 

'Yes' Harry promised looking sincere enough

'And you won't mention this any more?'

'No' Harry said

'Deal, now leave me alone' Hermione said decisively as she started writing again and proceeded to ignore Harry and Ron

*

'So what are you going to do when she finally admits it?' Harry asked Ron the next day after tea, completely forgetting his promise not to talk about it or possibly just ignoring the fact he had made one

'I think the question should be, what will you do when she doesn't' Ron smiled rather enigmatically 

'You're both wrong, the question should be what curse will she use when she finds out that you're talking about this again' a female voice came from behind them and both boys spun round on the couch in alarm

'Gin, don't scare us like that' Ron said breathing a large sigh of relief when he saw only his sister in front of him 

'Yeah, we thought you were Hermione' Harry looked equally relieved as Ginny came round to sit down opposite them, he had no desire to fall out with Hermione ever again

'I mean she's great to look at and everything, but the lectures do wear a little thin'

'Say did you see what she was wearing yesterday?' Harry said his eyes glazing over as his mind wondering back to the muggle dress that somebody had convinced her to wear that was rather tight, to put it mildly 

'Course I did, talk about curves in the right places, bloody scorching' Ron said with a low whistle of appreciative remembrance, it was then that Harry noticed that Ginny was staring at a spot just over their heads and realised what was going on

'She's stood right behind us isn't she?' he asked with a groan

'Please do go on, I'm sure you can find some way of been even more crude' Hermione said in a very sarcastic voice as she came round to join Ginny on the chair opposite the boys who were both looking rather sheepish

'If you insist' Harry said with a wicked grin and was about to start talking about how Ron had once seen Parvati in just a towel, only he quickly stopped himself remembering that girls tended to act funny about that sort of thing and as he had noticed much earlier, Hermione was most definitely a girl

*

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*

Harry had quickly done a deal with Fred and George Weasley, he'd sneak them into the Gryffindor common room so they could try and sell their goods and they'd let him use the lie detector. And now was the evening when it was going to happen, the Gryffindor common room was packed with the entire Gryffindor house who all wanted to see the lie detector 

'Are you ready?' Harry asked Hermione as he finally emerged through the massive crowd with Ron at his side

'Yes, but don't be too disappointed when you realise you're wrong' Hermione replied as she drank the potion which Fred had placed in front of her and pulled a face of disgust

'Nonsense, you're still in denial' Harry said brightly

'Oh brother' Ron said rolling his eyes

'Did you call?' George asked as he popped up seemingly out of nowhere

'No, I was exclaiming at Harry's stubbornness' Ron explained

'When you're both happily married with kids, you'll thank me for this. I'm just trying to make sure my two best friends are happy' Harry said rather sad that they didn't see he was trying to help them, but positive that they'd soon be together

'Hermione we're ready if you are' Fred came over next to George and placed a mat with a hand print on it down next to two lights, one of which was red and the other green

'Let's do this' Hermione said determinedly as she put her hand in the designated place on the mat

'Ok, this is the tester question. You need to lie for the answer. Are you male?' George asked and the room fell deadly silent in anticipation

'Yes' Hermione answered raising a few giggles. And after five seconds the red light flashed repeatedly drawing gasps of amazement and a very smug smirk from Fred and George

'Alright, it's all yours now. Just remember, you only have 6 questions left' Fred said to Harry as he moved out of the way

'More than enough. Here we go, Hermione do you fancy anybody?' Harry decided to draw out the situation for as long as possible to excite the assembled crowd

'Yes' Hermione answered after a brief pause. The light went green

'Excellent, is he in this room?' Harry's smile grew to a grin as he winked at Ron who simply shook his head in return

'Yes'. The light went green

'This was way too easy. Is it Ron?' Harry's grin was now Cheshire cat size as he relaxed in his chair, content that his job was done.

But:

'No'. And the light flashed green

'What the…how the hell? Damn it, I don't believe this' Harry leapt up yelling furiously and the nervous students near him took a large step backwards

'Erm Harry, there's still 3 questions left' George interrupted Harry's rant rather bravely in many people's opinion considering this was the Harry Potter who was going to duel a Malfoy for fun

'I only agreed to prove that I didn't fancy Ron, I've done that so I'm finished' Hermione smiled smugly as she made to stand up

'No way, you spoilt my fun. You're not going anywhere. Does the person you fancy have blue eyes?' Harry asked standing in front of Hermione preventing her from standing up, he was determined to make her suffer for ruining his perfect plan and he could think of no better way than finding out who she fancied and teasing her mercilessly about it

'No' Hermione answered rather reluctantly as she realised that Fred and George were guarding the portrait hole, blocking her escape. The light flashed green

'Brown eyes?' Harry tried again rather desperately now as he was on his penultimate question 

'No'. The light again flashed green and Hermione was now flushing slightly

'This stupid thing must be broken or not working' Harry said in frustration looking carefully round the room wondering why they were all staring back at him, he had looked at every male and even every pair of female eyes and found no-one with eyes any colour other than blue and brown

'All Weasley's wizard wheezes products work to perfection' Fred said very indignantly, looking rather curiously at Harry

'Well I can't see a single person in this room without blue or brown eyes' Harry pointed out; thinking that maybe the guy in question had slipped out unnoticed

'Oh? Well we can' George said smirking slightly as he looked straight at Harry

'Huh? What? Oh' Harry finally realised why everyone was staring at him and flushed slightly himself. 'Is he a completely dense idiot?' he asked leaning back in his chair in amazement

'Yes' Hermione said in a whisper her cheeks now a blazing red. And for the last time the light flashed green

*

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A/N: So that was more fun again right. Harry wasn't too bad, but still rather cheeky so nothing's changed too much. And this story will probably get a bit more serious at some point again, but not for a while

Cho's appearance has been put off for a chapter, but don't worry she isn't some kind of slut or anything when she appears, also appearing in the next two chapters is the visit to the Dursleys, and the long awaited duel with Draco

And maybe H/H will finally get together, well wait and see

Now to my reviewers, I hope this chapter amused you, 

All Mighty Terrestrial – I did try to write Harry without Ron and Hermione, but you're right it just wasn't as much fun, I couldn't write about one of them without mentioning the other two

Hermione Rae – Honestly it's H/H

Adolph (Hitler) – Rather worried by the name but thanks for calling me awesome

PotterFan66 – I agree that you can't go wrong with H/H as a couple, that is why I solemnly swear that this story will be a H/H story

Stoneheart – Everyone should read this review as an example of how to make someone feel great, seriously Stoneheart you have been a real constant force in writing this story, always extremely nice while been extremely helpful. I couldn't ask for more from a reviewer, cheers very much

Aubs22 – Thanks, I plan to review your story very soon

Meg – I am keeping going

Chibi – Cheers for the review

goddess of insanity and pauru – Thanks

Madelein – I think I can make this work as a PG, I don't really want to go into graphic detail, I'm happy with just implying things, but thanks for the suggestion

hermione&harry4ever – I think it's now clear who's going to get to date Hermione (cough*Harry*cough)

Draco Scye – Draco bashing is imminent and as for Lucius Malfoy (evil cackle) just wait and see

NightBlossom – You got it, Harry isn't suddenly going to become some goody goody two shoes

A rose by any other name – Ah real life, it can always be relied upon to kick you when you're down

justin 1 hp fan – Writing as fast as I can, honestly

Plissken – Thanks

Sbys – Cheers very much

Vampires-kiss – Thank you

The Dragon Guardian of the Sea – I saw a picture of Tom Felton the other day and I was suddenly all Draco is god, until I remembered he's actually an actor

Linz – Only one answer, lots more to come

Mogliecat – 

Individulists – I noticed that, you would think they could have got coloured contacts or something but I guess it doesn't matter too much

Caroline – This was better right?

Harry and Hermione's Daughter – Just give Cho a chance, you might end up liking her after all

A huge thank you to everyone who took the time to review and Merry Christmas to you all


	9. Denying the undeniable is easier than yo...

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of J.K.Rowling, as is every other character and place mentioned in her books

A/N: What can I say, that I haven't said before? Very little, I've had exams, I still have coursework and I've been trying to make my own website in my own time www.angelfire.com/falcon/dudley, for any nice person who wants to boost my dismally low hit counter. Anyway here's the ninth chapter, it was probably rushed, it probably has mistakes, but it's the best I can offer you at the moment. The trip to the Dursleys is the funny scene to watch out for, other than that this is a rather H/H chapter.

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'Well our work here is done' George smirked in his younger brother's direction as he packed away the now infamous lie detector

'But if any of you want an order form for some of our products, then form an orderly queue over here' Fred gestured to the far corner of the common room and was knocked over as all the students stampeded jostling for the best places in line, leaving only Ron, Harry and Hermione behind

'Well Harry, I'm delighted to say I told you so. But I need to get a place in line' Ron laughed as he walked away. It did seem doubtful that he would need to queue for Weasley's Wizard Wheezes products when his own brothers had invented them, but he knew his two best friends needed to talk

'Don't I feel stupid' Harry muttered mostly to himself, his hair was now even messier than usual due to the vast number of times he'd run his hand through it in the last five minutes trying to get his head round what had just happened

'Why?' Hermione asked, her sharp ears had not missed a word

'I never noticed that my best friend was besotted with little old me' Harry batted his eyelashes and giggled modestly in a scarily accurate imitation of Parvati, he was working on the old theory of: when in doubt, make jokes

'Oh honestly, you know that every girl in this school thinks your gorgeous, including me. However that doesn't mean I'm hopelessly in love with you, or want to date you or even to kiss you' Hermione snapped frowning looking (understandably under the circumstances) rather peeved

'Ouch you've dinted my pride. But I'm proud to know I'm the only guy you fancy' Harry puffed his chest out in his show of pride

'Far from it. At that particular moment you were the person I fancied, but there are moments when Malfoy is rather fanciable. But it doesn't mean I want to shag him senseless'

'Oooo my poor ears, stop this mental torture, I didn't need to hear that' Harry groaned, trying hard to stop disgusting mental images from invading his mind

'Which part?' Hermione inquired, grinning at Harry's discomfort

'All of it. I cannot believe you compared me to ferret boy' Harry complained bitterly

'Just proving my point that you're merely my good looking friend and I'm not looking for anything more than that' Hermione shrugged

'That's cool. I'm just happy you finally admitted I'm so fanciable, otherwise I'd have to question both your sanity and your eyesight' Harry bragged as Hermione rolled her eyes at his arrogance and decided that now would be a perfect time to re-unite the 'dream team' by joining Ron 

And from a distance, on the surface it looked as though things had worked out fine, Harry had made jokes and Hermione had made sarcastic calm comments, they'd both seemed completely normal and at ease about what had just happened. But Harry had been surprised that when Hermione had said that she didn't want to date him, his gut had twisted and he'd felt almost downcast. In fact it had been startling, he'd given little thought to dating anyone for the last few months, he'd certainly given no thought to dating Hermione, or at least he didn't think he had. Now he thought carefully about it, he remembered thinking about her more often than he normally did; maybe it had been a sign of his true feelings, or maybe he was reading too much into it. But it was indisputable that now the thought of dating her was firmly in his head, the idea seemed very appealing to him, very appealing indeed.

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A couple of days later all the trio were uncharacteristically apart, Hermione was presumably in the library, Ron was explaining the virtues of the Chudley Cannons to an unconvinced Dean, Harry who had tired of Cannons talk many years ago was attempting to help Neville with Charms, but in truth he was more of a hindrance. Just as Neville was finally about to reach breaking point and whack Harry round the head with the heaviest book he could find, his attention was diverted by somebody entering the common room in a hurry.

That somebody was Hermione, who walked over to Ron in what would have been a casual manner, if it hadn't been for her red face and quick glances over her shoulder. Dean thankful of an distraction, escaped from Ron's side, and Hermione slid into his empty seat looking distracted

'You know Terry Boot?' Hermione asked Ron, without a word of greeting

'That Ravenclaw prefect?' Ron asked looking puzzled, he vaguely knew the members of other houses but had never before found the need to discuss them

'Yeah' Hermione confirmed

'What about him?' Ron asked in confusion, trying to remember if it was Terry or a different Ravenclaw who played Quidditch, he was fairly sure it was Terry

'Just wondering what you thought of him' Hermione said, once again trying to act casual

'Seems alright I guess. Ask Harry, he plays Quidditch against him'. In truth Ron knew next to nothing about Terry, but if it was important enough for Hermione to ask about then he was going to try and help her

'No it's alright' Hermione went red again and quickly picked up the nearest book, trying to appear busy

'You might as well ask' Ron pointed out with a shrug

'No, honestly, it doesn't matter now' Hermione insisted

'But Harry won't mind, here I'll ask him for you' Ron tried to be the kind of helpful friend that Hermione would want and quickly scanned the room looking for Harry

'No, Ron don't' Hermione gave a hiss of horror as she realised that Ron was preparing to shout across the room 

'Hey Harry, what do you think of that Terry Boot from Ravenclaw?' Ron yelled to his best friend as Hermione buried her head deep inside the book so her face couldn't be seen. Neville saw his chance of getting rid of his unhelpful helper and insisted that Harry go talk to his friends

'Seems nice enough, not the best beater in the world, but he tries hard and he plays fair, which is more than can be said for some players. Why?' Harry, like Ron had done previously, thought this was a very peculiar question to be asking

'Hermione asked' Ron explained with a shrug to show that he didn't understand any better than Harry did

'Why?' Harry asked the cover of the book, which was hiding Hermione from him

'Just curious' came the muffled reply from Hermione, which sounded rather squeaky

'A bit of a strange thing to wonder about. Hermione you should know you can't lie to us, what's the real reason' Harry asked firmly but gently as he removed the book from Hermione's hands with an amused grin on his face 

'Fine I'll tell you, but don't overreact' Hermione said with a sigh, wishing she had never begun this conversation

'We aren't little kids' Ron said indignantly, honestly, was it like him to ever overreact?

'Exactly, what's the worst that could happen?' Harry agreed and staring intently at Hermione to get his answer

'Just don't say I didn't warn you. Terry asked me out' Hermione muttered looking a bit sheepish and very apprehensive. She'd been alone in the library when Terry came over and asked her a few questions about rumours he'd heard concerning her, Harry and the lie detector (the news had spread round the entire school in mere minutes). And upon discovering she was still unattached he'd asked her out, he'd stuttered, she went red, he went red, she'd turned him down as gently as she could, he'd gone even redder and quickly left. Now she wondered if she'd been too rash, she didn't know the guy, there had been no real reason to turn him down, well, no reason she was willing to admit 

'That bastard, you can't date him, he's an idiot' Harry cried in outrage, looking scandalised

'He's a completely immature prat' Ron added, with a scowl on his face, he'd never trusted that Boot character, he'd always seemed shifty

'He's a right poncy git, always prancing around' Harry continued, he could carry on all night with reasons why Hermione shouldn't date him

'I knew you two would do this, you always overreact about everything I do, it's so immature' Hermione said angrily stamping her foot as she stormed off in disgust at her friends behaviour. It wasn't like she wanted to date Terry, he was sweet enough, he just wasn't Harry. Although in her current state of mind she wasn't overly keen on the idea of dating him either

'You don't think maybe we did overreact just a bit?' Harry asked Ron as he watched Hermione's retreating back; it wasn't that he didn't want her to be happy; he just didn't want her to associate with people like that Terry

'No way, Boot is bad news' Ron declared vehemently, in fact the more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that Terry was in fact in Voldemort's inner circle and had a mysterious sixth toe that proved his evil powers

'Precisely, he's just not right for her. We didn't do anything wrong' Harry nodded his head having thoroughly convinced himself that he knew what was best for Hermione

'Harry my friend, I don't think anything we've ever done is wrong' Ron gave a grin as he settled back to arrange another game of chess so that he could once again beat Harry

If Harry had needed some kind of sign to convince him that he should ask Hermione out, then surely this was it, he wouldn't just be doing it because he fancied her, he'd be doing it to save her from gits like Terry Boot.

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By the next week the thought of dating Hermione still hadn't left him, he'd found himself studying spells for his upcoming duel with Draco and suddenly found himself wondering what Hermione would do if he kissed her. It was really rather disconcerting, and certainly very distracting; so he resolved to ask her out as though it was a simple spur of the moment thing. He put the plan into place, one evening when they were in the common room doing homework

'Hermione, I think we should date' Harry announced casually as he put the finishing touches to his Charms essay, Hermione suddenly started making weird choking noises as she looked up in alarm

'I beg your pardon' she gasped, to put it mildly she was shocked and to put it less mildly she had had a strong suspicion that this was some weird twisted dream and Parvati would wake her in mere moments to beg help on some problem or other.

'I think we should date' Harry repeated very slowly and emphasising the word 'date' just in case Hermione wanted to pick out the key words

'I heard the first time' Hermione snapped trying to decide the best way to deal with this, she decided on the brushing it off as an everyday event routine: 'You've had the entire female population of the school quite literally throwing themselves at you, date one of them'

'Not the entire population, you didn't, and I want you' Harry was grinning lopsidedly at her, apparently enjoying her discomfort. 

What he didn't realise was just how close Hermione had been at the start of term to joining the mass hoards of girls who stalked Harry at every turn.

Luckily Hermione had regained her common-sense very quickly after realising that while Harry was good-looking, all it proved was that she had eyes not that she should fall madly in love with him, and besides he was her best friend and that was more important to her than anything else.

'Don't be stupid, date Parvati, she doesn't have bushy hair' Hermione reprimanded Harry by pointing out her own defects as she felt confident this would knock sense into him

'I like your hair' Harry replied, brushing aside her argument as he reached over and curled a few strands round his finger apparently fascinated by it

'Well date Padma; she sometimes curls her hair, that looks bushy from a distance. Plus she doesn't have freckles, I do' Hermione pulled back out of Harry's reach causing him to scowl at her

'I like freckles, I have them too, we could count each others' Harry suggested grinning slyly and stroking his finger along Hermione's jaw line momentarily causing her to lose concentration 

'Ginny has freckles' Hermione said in more of a half-hearted whisper than anything else rather distracted by watching Harry, until she pulled herself back together and shook her head slightly 

'They're not as good as yours and besides she's dating Dean' Harry pouted as Hermione failed to fall for his oh so obvious charms

'You could steal her away' Hermione suggested very enthusiastically, now she was what she considered a safe distance from been distracted by Harry

'I'm sure I could, but they're happy together and Dean's a friend' Harry explained, although his explanation was a strange mix of the old loyal Harry who wanted everyone to be happy and the new one who was over-confident

'Well I'm your friend too' Hermione said rather unsure of what the point of this was but deciding she might as well try it anyway

'Yes and I want to date you' Harry explained very patiently as though Hermione simply didn't understand what was going on

'But we've been friends since we were 11, since you saved me from that troll'

'So what, I still want to date you' Harry said failing to see the relevance. He also failed to see the look of annoyance and remembrance come over Hermione's face, which was never going to be a good sign

'In fact, we wouldn't even be friends if you hadn't locked me in a bathroom with a troll, you and Ron would still hate me' Hermione said as though she'd suddenly experienced a life changing revelation and now saw Harry in a completely different way. This wasn't what Harry had expected to happen and he saw that he needed to deal with this, before Hermione blew things out of all proportion

'Clearly we need to sort this out. We never hated you to begin with and there is no way we could not have been friends. Us three were always meant to be friends' Harry said meaning every word he said

'Before the troll, you didn't even talk to me' Hermione said stubbornly, her eyes stony and disbelieving

'No and that was our loss, but sooner or later we would have spoken in class or in the common room and we would have become friends, I'm sure of it' Harry spoke clearly and looked directly into Hermione's eyes

'Well -' Hermione said beginning to waver, as she saw the sincerity in Harry's eyes

'Hermione never let it be said that I don't bless the day you and Ron became my best friends, without you two I'd have died many times and never have had a great time at school. If I could pick my family, I'd pick you two any day and you better not forget it' Harry said and those words were all it took to convince Hermione that it didn't matter how they became friends; now that they were, she should just cherish it. For while it was true that coming to Hogwarts and making friends had rescued Harry, it had also rescued Hermione from a life with no meaning and anything that led her to Harry couldn't be all bad

'OK' she said quietly, nodding in agreement. Harry smiled at her in relief and grabbed his stuff preparing to depart for bed

'By the way, you're going to give into a date with me. I guarantee it' Harry paused briefly at the stairs to give Hermione a very cheeky wink before disappearing, leaving her torn between shock and amusement at what had just happened.

So getting Hermione to date him hadn't been as easy as he'd thought it would be, but he wasn't to be deterred, she hadn't rejected him and from talking about her as his friend, he was more convinced than ever that she was his perfect girl

*

*

*

Harry was wearing a smart white shirt with simple black trousers and his robes open to reveal them, his walk through the common room minutes earlier had left Parvati and Lavender openly drooling. He strode through the corridor with purpose scattering the smaller students in front of him, finally he spotted his target ahead of him and alone 

'Fancy going out with me sometime?' Harry flashed his most dazzling smile as he swung round a pillar to get in front of an extremely beautiful young girl carrying piles of books. The girl looked up in surprise, smirked slightly and shook her black hair which had so fascinated Harry 

'Harry I only just split up with Roger' Cho Chang informed the young man in front of her, Roger had been her old Quidditch captain and boyfriend for a year, until she'd decided that maintaining a long-distance relationship just wasn't working

'So you could go out with me, right?' Harry said looking very self-confident as passing students sent Cho some very envious looks 

'No, definitely not' Cho said determinedly,

'Admit it, you dig me' Harry smiled lazily and made a great show of slowly taking his robe off to reveal the tight shirt underneath, causing some passing third years to walk straight into the wall from shock. Cho however, looked decidedly unimpressed and merely raised an eyebrow at his antics

'You're mighty attractive, but I'm not one of your bimbo fans who swoons just because you smile at them. Nor will I be the eye candy on your arm in your attempt to make Hermione jealous'. Cho spoke with the wisdom that all Ravenclaws apparently possessed, she had heard the rumours, she'd seen Harry and Hermione together and she could put 2 and 2 together and come up with 4, unlike many members of the school

'I don't need to make anyone jealous, girls fall over themselves to just talk to me' Harry said angrily, angry at Cho for not going along with his plan and angry with himself for feeling this way about his best friend

'Ah that's what this is about' Cho exclaimed quietly with a small smile, she'd always liked Harry, she wanted him to be happy and she was fairly sure he was finally figuring out just what it was that would make him happy, and it wasn't her

'What?' Harry asked

'You're angry that the only girl you like, is the only one who seems to be immune to your charms' Cho explained simply and when put like that, Harry couldn't deny it, he gave up his façade and leaned back against the wall in despair

'She just laughs when I flirt with her, does her homework without batting an eyelid whenever I wear my leather jacket even though every other girl is drooling, she's even seen me in my boxers and only commented that I was late for class' he complained, then realising how it had sounded added quickly, 'not that I care'

'Poor Harry, you've got it bad' Cho laughed rather unsympathetically at Harry's predicament

'No I don't' Harry denied on impulse

'Then why were you asking me out?' Cho asked raising an eyebrow in amusement

'I just wanted to, erm, to do, the thing is, I wanted to…….Fine, it was plan B' Harry admitted finally having to laugh a little himself at how feeble he sounded

'I hope you have a better plan for plan C'

'You'll just have to wait and see' Harry said with a wink as Cho walked away, in truth he was now thinking of further plans, after all there was still another 24 letters of the alphabet left, and after that they'd be infinite numbers. No siree, his plans weren't done yet  
*

*

*

With only a day to go before his duel with Draco, Harry decided he needed something to relax himself before the big event, and what better way to relax than by winding up your relatives. Ron had been worrying him with tales of how Snape would have taught Draco every piece of dark magic that he knew, Hermione was trying to convince him that it wasn't too late to back out and Draco was making loud comments whenever he passed about which parts of Harry's body he planned to sever first.

So a trip to the Dursley's would be just what the doctor ordered, Harry waited until the common room was fairly empty that evening before slipping out of the tower, onto the grounds and then running in his animagus form to find a safe spot to summon the knight bus from.

'Alright, alright, stop knocking I'm coming' a very annoyed and flustered Vernon Dursley tied his XXX large dressing gown tightly as he stumbled down the stairs of 4 Privet Drive at about 2 o'clock on the morning of the 1st December little suspecting how terrible a start to the month of Christmas it would prove

'Hello Uncle Vernon' Harry smiled brightly looking rather unsteady on his feet as he stood in the doorway

'What the hell are you doing here boy?' Vernon growled angrily, the previous summer of torment that his nephew had caused was obviously fresh in his mind

'I've brought a friend to visit you' Harry smiled even wider as his words slurred slightly

'What? Who? Why? Where?' Vernon blustered looking visibly scared a he imagined a twenty foot tall Sirius Black leaping out from the bushes and cursing him

'Hello I'm constable Mackenzie, your nephew was picked up in town for being drunk and disorderly' a policewoman who had previously been hidden from view by a very large pot-plant stepped into view just in time to see a rather bony horse like woman appear at the top of the stairs listening intently

'You were what?' Vernon hissed at Harry as his face slowly turned purple, he had already seen his wife watching and was amazed that Dudley hadn't been woken up by the commotion

'The tramps wanted to learn the can-can, she was just jealous that I didn't ask her to dance' Harry protested and looked as though he was considering giving his uncle and the policewoman a quick reminder of how the can-can went, unfortunately for all the neighbours who were peaking through their net curtains Harry's performance was cut short

'We let him off this time, but if there is a next time we will charge him, so please keep him under closer control in future' the constable said managing to maintain a serious outlook even though she was thinking that if she had an uncle like this one, she'd turn to drink as well

'But, but, but, but, but' Vernon stuttered trying to explain how evil Harry was and how he was meant to be at school, however he couldn't get the words out fast enough

'Tut tut Vernie, that's no way to talk in front of a lady' Harry scolded and Mackenzie found it very hide to hide her smile, this boy might be a drunk but he was certainly amusing

'Get in here you. Good day constable' Vernon snapped as he yanked Harry into the house and slammed the door shut. 'What's the meaning of this, you turn up on my doorstep at 2 in the morning, drunk, with the police'

'Fooled you' Harry said in a perfectly clear voice as he doubled over laughing

'You're not really drunk' Vernon hissed as realisation dawned on him and he cursed whatever law it was that had made hitting annoying brats who were children illegal

'No I'm not. I just came to wish you merry Christmas, but then I had to save your good name. Cos your car was involved in a high-speed chase and ended up on the pavement outside a strip club; luckily the police didn't find me there. However that woman did find me in the park talking to a lovely fellow called Barney or something' Harry explained what had happened, and judging from the terrified squeak he heard from up the stairs, he guessed his aunt was listening

'You stole my car' Vernon gasped, unable to believe that even his filthy wizard nephew could do anything so low

'No, I was going to but somebody else beat me to it, so I jumped in for the ride' Harry smiled at his uncle, wondering if looking the colour of boiled beetroot was particularly healthy, he doubted it

'Out, out, get out now' Vernon bellowed, opening the door and pushing Harry through it. Sure enough now that he looked, his garage was wide open and his precious car was gone, he knew that Harry would be no help, he'd have to contact the police in the morning about getting it back

'Oh fine, say merry Christmas to Aunt Petunia from me and I hope Dudley gets home soon' Harry said sticking his hands in his pockets and beginning to trudge up the drive after giving his uncle a cherry wave

'Dudley is home, you fool' Vernon shouted after him with a sneer, determined to get the better of the dratted boy this time. Harry turned at the end of the driveway and had such a devilish look on his face, that it was a surprise he hadn't sprouted horns and a tail

'Oops did I forget to mention that it was Dudley driving the car? Silly me. Don't worry I told the police everything. I hope he makes bail soon' the laughter from Harry that followed this statement could be heard all down the street and would linger in Vernon's ears for many hours to come. 

Harry changed into his animagus form as soon as he was out of sight, congratulated himself on an evening's good work and began the journey back to Hogwarts. He never heard Petunia's scream when she realised that her darling Dudders was not in his bed, he never saw the frantic dash down to the police station his aunt and uncle made to find their son and he never got to laugh at Dudley's tears and protestations that he'd only wanted to take the car out for a few minutes but that horrid Harry had forced him to drive into town.

*

*

*

'You're going to go ahead with this duel aren't you?' Hermione said with a sigh of resignation when she saw him the morning of the much-anticipated duel

'Yes. Wish me luck?' Harry asked smiling

'Good luck' Hermione said after a slight hesitation

'Kiss on the lips for luck?' Harry enquired hopefully

'No' she replied shortly. Harry pouted and Hermione mockingly returned the expression

'You're going to distract me if you pout like that' Harry informed her, wondering if Hermione's hair normally had that many shades of colour in it

'You don't need anymore distractions, I think I'll stay out of your way till after the duel' Hermione said, Harry's head shot upright in alarm, seeing that she was serious and realising that she was probably right, he gave a small smile

'You're going to watch me though?' he asked, looking slightly nervous, though whether this was because of the duel or because Hermione might reject him was unclear

'Of course I am, just make sure you don't get any sort of injury'

'So when I've won, do I get my good luck kiss?' Harry asked grinning once again

'I'll make a note to ask Parvati to give you one' Hermione smirked at him as she left the room and Harry groaned with frustration as she outsmarted him once again. But his resolve was clear, Hermione had to date him, he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

*

'Ron I'm going to need your help' Harry said in the final minutes before the time for the duel arrived, he was in an empty classroom with Ron preparing for the contest, Hermione had been true to her word and was no-where in sight

'What for?' Ron asked suspiciously, hoping that it was some plan to knobble Draco before the duel could begin

'I have to convince Hermione that dating me is a good idea, I'll use every cliché in the book if I have to' Harry said determinedly, planning a whole new approach in his mind

'Fair enough, just tell me what you want me to do' 

'Not now, first I'll defeat the prat, then I get the girl' Harry's eyes gleamed with passion as he spoke

'What a lovely fairytale' Ron said sarcastically

'You just watch me' Harry gave his wand one last polish and left the room with Ron in close pursuit ready to deal Draco Malfoy the comeuppance he so richly deserved

*

There had never been such excitement in the great hall, a large space had been cleared in the middle of the floor and around it crowded every single Hogwarts student eager to see this historic duel. Many of the teachers were also in the hall; McGonagall was attempting to maintain order in the centre of the room, with Harry on one side of her and Draco on the other. After failing to get quiet by shouting, McGonagall let off a large explosion that got everyone's attention

'Now I must remind you that no one else may do any of the spells that you are about to see, in any circumstances other than under the guidance of a fully trained teacher. And now the rules of this duel: No unforgivable curses may be used, neither side may receive any outside help, you are not aiming to injure your opponent and this duel will end when one of you is on the ground for more than 10 seconds. Bow gentlemen' McGonagall commanded and a hush fell over the hall

'Not to injure? You won't be able to walk at the end of this Potter' Draco muttered glaring at Harry as he gave a short bow

'Enough talk Malfoy, let's finish this, well let's finish you' Harry smirked at Draco as he raised his wand

'Three, two, one, begin' McGonagall cried, and the duel was underway at last. 

*

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A/N: Well there you go again, obviously the next chapter will be the duel and possibly a bit more H/H. Thank you to everyone who has previously reviewed and please do keep on reviewing, its about the only thing that keeps me going sometimes. I'll get to work on the next chapter as soon as possible, honestly 


	10. Draco's downfall and a weird metaphor ab...

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all other characters belong to J.K.Rowling and the song belongs to Andy Williams

A/N: Bloody long chapter this one is. I'll apologise in advance for the duel scene and further explanation and apologies and *gasp* replies to reviews can be found below. Enjoy. 

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Previously on 'One bad boy': Harry asked Hermione on a date, she turned him down. Harry enlisted Ron's help to win Hermione over. Harry prepared to duel Draco and the author buggered off for a few months due to evil teachers

'Three, two, one, begin' McGonagall cried, and the duel was underway at last.

*

'Prepare to die' Draco yelled in what would have been an extremely threatening manner, if it wasn't for the fact that he was firstly a Slytherin and secondly a nancy git who must have used a baby elephant's weight in gel on his hair that morning

'Let's just get this over with' Harry said rolling his eyes at Draco as he concerned himself with trying to spot his friends in the crowd. So far he'd seen Dean and Seamus waving at him with a large banner held between them that proclaimed 'He's mean, he's lean, he's Gryffindor's bad ass fighting machine' and heard Ron yelling that he was Harry's best friend as he pushed his way to the front of the crowd

'Expelliarmus' Draco yelled while Harry continued peering round the large crowd searching for his female best friend. However Harry was fast enough to simply sidestep Draco's first attack much to the disappointment of the few Slytherins in the crowd

'Confundo' Draco tried again and Harry this time stepped the other way as the curses shot past him and hit the protective (but invisible) walls that Dumbledore had placed around the duelling area. 

'Diffindo' Draco shouted at the same moment Harry finally spotted Hermione in the crowd watching him with apprehension from near the back. Harry decided to pay more attention to Draco and leapt over the oncoming curse, really wanting to finish with a forward-somersault but having the feeling that he would instead break his neck and so he landed on his feet

'Trying out for the circus Potter?' Draco inquired with a sneer

'That would explain why there's a big stupid ape in front of me' Harry replied with a charming smile that had his fan club in the front row snapping wildly on their cameras. He did quickly ponder as to how Draco seemed to be so knowledgeable about muggle pastimes such as ballet and the circus but decided he'd save such mocking for later

'Serpentosia' Draco shouted the first spell that came into his head in annoyance at Harry's quick retort that had inspired much laughter around the room

'Bravo, well thought out there Malfoy. Send a snake at somebody who can talk to snakes, that's bound to frighten him into surrendering. Oh no, wait, it just makes you seem stupid' Harry said with an extremely slow mock clap as he told the snake to wait over near the Slytherin supporters, who he was glad to see seemed rather worried as the snake headed towards them

'Ricumsumptra' Draco shot out the tickling spell that was never going to have any serious effect

'Here have that one back, you're going to need it far more than me' Harry smiled lazily as he deflected the charm back to Draco who dodged just in time

'Avis' Draco said slightly out of breath as he prayed to God that big black killer birds of prey would fly out of his wand and eat Harry alive. However judging from the hilarious laughter filling the hall, it seemed that the black birds of prey were in fact yellow canaries

'Ooo pretty, being practicing that one to charm Parkinson have you?' Harry couldn't stop his laughter as one of the birds tried to perch on Draco's shoulder

'Engorgio'

'I've no need for that thanks, I think everyone would agree that I'm big enough already' Harry grinned as he dodged and winked at Hermione who merely raised an eyebrow in response, while Draco turned whiter than ever in fury 

'Obliviate'

'What the hell are you playing at?' Harry yelled in anger as he waved his wand just in time to raise a protective wall that absorbed the curse

'It's in the rules, it wasn't a unforgivable' Draco replied coolly, supported by Slytherin cheers. He personally blamed Dumbledore, if the old crackpot hadn't told him specifically not to use it, then why should he be held responsible for its actions?

'Well it damn well should be' Harry snapped almost looking visibly flustered as he recovered from the shock that Draco wasn't going to play nicely, he wasn't sure why he'd ever expected that he would. He saw Ron out of the corner of his eye being restrained by Dean and Seamus as he attempted to reach Draco to kill him and realised that he should end the duel soon. Or just as soon as he'd shown Malfoy up a bit more

'What's wrong Pothead getting scared?' Draco sneered, pleased to have finally scared Harry. But Snape watching the duel with an air of superiority and disinterest from the back realised that this was the end of Draco's battle, annoying a person who was clearly magically stronger than you was not the way to win a duel and Snape knew that, even if Draco's pride prevented him from seeing it

'Give me something to be scared of then I'll let you know' Harry shot back while coolly deflecting another curse back to Draco 

'You can't run forever' Draco said through gritted teeth as he saw yet another one of his curses returned to him and immediately sent another one

'I don't intend to' Harry said as he jumped out of the way of the latest curse

'Come on, fight me, or are you scared you'll lose?' Draco challenged getting very frustrated and knowing that his face was covered with sweat from over-exertion, while Harry's only exertion so far was waving to a cheering Colin Creevy

'Just trying to stretch it out a bit, let's face it, once I curse you, it'll all be over in seconds' Harry smiled serenely with confidence

'You're bluffing Potter, you know I'm going to win' Draco said also with confidence, only quite why Draco was confident was a mystery to everyone there

'Don't be an idiot all your life Malfoy' Harry sighed rolling his eyes at the delusional state that Draco was still caught in

'First I'll kill Weasley, then I'll torture the mudblood to death in front of you and then I'll finish you off. You just see if I don't' Draco laughed cruelly attempting to get some sort of reaction from Harry

'Still living in your own little universe are you? I suppose it's the only place you fit in' Harry smirked with amusement as he dodged another series of curses that Draco sent his way

'Just wait. I've told you before Potter, you chose the wrong side, you're going to die' Draco laughed excitedly as though he spent his entire live waiting for Harry to die

'Maybe, but you'll never win' Harry said with a nonchalant shrug. He knew that life insurance for himself would be ridiculously high but to him death wasn't the worst thing that could happen, just so long as he did some good before he went. 

'What you and those little detective friends of yours will figure out the secret code just in time to save the day? Think again, this isn't a game anymore, I'm going to beat you, starting with this duel' Draco said manically, his eyes shining with the prospective power and riches that would be his when Voldemort ruled the world. Harry glimpsed Hermione looking anxiously at him and saw that her hands were tightly clenched by her side from anger at Malfoy and fear for him. And shaking thoughts of simply strangling Draco to death out of his head, he decided that he had to finish this now before somebody got seriously injured

'Be quiet and understand this, you will never beat me. Wherever you go, whatever you do, I'll always be right there to knock you back into that slime pit you came from' Harry's voice rose to a menacing whisper as he strode straight towards Draco with his robes billowing and wand raised

'I really don't think…' Draco began to say with as a look of fear flittered across his face and those words were a trigger for Harry, he finally knew how he wanted to end the duel

'Petrificus totalus' Harry said calmly as the curse left his wand and flew straight into the stunned Malfoy who fell to the ground with a resounding thud as Harry stood over his now still form with a smirk playing on his lips. 'I've warned you before about saying that. You should really learn to listen to me; it might just save your life. Because you'll never be able to compete with me, you're just not in my league'

'Mr Potter wins' McGonagall announced to the hall, which broke out in jubilant cheers as everyone was glad to see Draco Malfoy so badly beaten and the sweetest victory of all was the knowledge that Draco could see and hear everything that was going on and could do nothing to stop it

'There was never any doubt' Harry scoffed as he left the duelling ring 'accidentally' stepping heavily on Draco's leg on the way. Draco's place in history was now secure; he would be forever remembered as the boy beaten by a single curse that even the first years knew. While was victor was the irrepressible boy-who-lived and the boy who would now concentrate on rather more pleasant tasks, such as convincing his best friend to date him…….after he'd had a victory party or three

*  
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*

'Mobililibro' Harry shouted for the fifth time in frustration, but once again nothing happened. 'Stupid spell doesn't work' he muttered crossly. 

'Don't be silly, you're saying it wrong' Hermione said, looking up from her book with a slight smile on her face as the quill in front of Harry didn't even move

'I am not' Harry said as indignantly as if Hermione had just claimed that the moon was made of cheese

'Yes you are' Hermione insisted, 'you need to roll the r'

'Well if you're such an expert, why don't you do it?' Harry offered standing aside so that Hermione could see the quill that was causing him so much aggravation 

'If you insist' Hermione said with a shrug ignoring that sarcasm in Harry's comment and pulling her wand out 'mobililibro'

'Damn it, I hate when my sarcastic comments backfire on me' Harry muttered as the quill moved the entire length of the table before mockingly resting on the table right in front of Harry

'Don't worry we still like you, even though you suck at chess and Hermione's smarter than you' Ron grinned infuriatingly as he laughed at Harry's misfortune, to him life was good at the moment, his friends were been nice to him, the food was excellent and Lavender had bent down right in front of him only moments earlier

'Don't you have to annoy Dean or something?' Harry snapped still sulking

'Oh yeah, Ginny looked upset this morning. He's going to pay if he's done something to her' Ron jumped up completely unmoved by the fact that his best friend had just glared at him and sped off to find Dean, the sooner Dean was a mere memory, the sooner Ron's life became completely perfect

'I'm sure you'll be able to do the spell soon' Hermione said attempting to sooth Harry's battered pride, but the smirk lurking on the corner of her lips didn't really help the situation.

Luckily Harry got over his annoyance pretty darn quickly as a new plan sprang into his mind

'You could teach me, couldn't you?' he asked

'Well, yes' Hermione agreed

'Cos you're top of Charms aren't you?' Harry inquired looking interested

'Yes' she answered

'And you're a prefect, right?'

'Yes' Hermione said slowly, extremely suspicious as to where Harry was heading

'And you're going to go on a date with me?' Harry asked not even changing his tone

'Wrong, we just established that I'm not stupid, so I'm not going to fall for that' Hermione informed Harry, grateful that she had quickly registered the question before simply answering yes again

'I know you're not stupid, you're incredibly smart and incredibly sexy' Harry said sincerely and with an extremely sleazy grin on his face, which convinced Hermione that she didn't ever want to know what he was thinking

'And you're a perverted teenager' she replied

'And proud of it' Harry grinned; Hermione simply shook her head at him in disgust causing Harry to defend himself. 'Aww come on Hermione, a girl with your brains has to realise that dating me or Ron is inevitable'

'I see no reason why' Hermione said rather huffily

'It's the way the world works, you're a female with two male best friends and sooner or later one will develop further than that, even if it's only a one night stand, it's inevitable' Harry said extremely confidently as though this was one of the ten commandments written in stone, never to be broken

'What is this, the rules of Harry's world?'

'Alright, let's try it. Can you swear to me that in six years of friendship you have only ever thought of Ron and I in a purely platonic way?' Harry asked extremely innocently knowing what the answer was

'That's besides the point' Hermione said quickly feeling her cheeks begin to warm

'That's exactly the point and that's a no' Harry grinned 'It was me right? You still fancy me'

'I'm off to the library' Hermione said standing up quickly realising that she should get away from Harry while she still had the chance. Obviously she couldn't say she'd never had any feelings beyond platonic ones for Harry or Ron; the entire bloody school knew she fancied Harry, she just wasn't very keen on the idea of making Harry's big head any bigger

'Admit it, it was me' Harry said smugly. He could tell that Hermione's feelings for him hadn't changed at all since the lie detector test

'Maybe' she admitted muttering as she left the common room and an ecstatic Harry behind her

*

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As was usual in winter at Hogwarts, it had snowed, and as all people do when they see snow they go out and play in it. Which explained why Harry, Ron and Hermione seemed intent on freezing to death by walking outside. Hermione was going very carefully, making sure that nothing got in her way, in contrast Ron and Harry were running around like nutters throwing snowballs and play fighting, it had to be said that snow really brought out the 4 year old in them.

'Do be careful out here Hermione, its really very slippy' Ron said very seriously as he finally stopped running circles round her

'Honestly Ron what would I slip on?' she sighed in exasperation still carefully watching every step she took

'That rock' Ron said gesturing with his wand just in front of where she was walking

'Huh?' Hermione turned in surprise to look at Ron who was now walking away from them grinning over his shoulder. And then suddenly she stubbed her toe on something and was flying through the air before quickly descending and landing on something soft, which moved under her 

'Why hello Hermione, enjoy your trip?' the soft thing under her spoke revealing it to be a grinning Harry

'Umppfff' Hermione was still too stunned and winded from her sudden fall to respond properly

'Precisely. You do realise this is one of those horribly clichéd positions where we kiss' Harry asked trying to sound innocent but instead sounding delighted. Hermione suddenly froze and realised that she was lying in the freezing snow with Harry, which would look extremely compromising to anyone who saw them, added to the fact that she didn't want to kiss him, well not too much

'Yes, which is why you're going to stand up right now' she said frowning and trying to sound as stern as possible

'Well I would do, but you're on top of me' Harry smirked and Hermione blushed 

'Oh right' she muttered a bit sheepishly as she quickly scrambled up

'What about my kiss?' Harry asked in disappointment as he jumped up brushing snow off his robes

'Where's that rock?' Hermione was looking around in surprise trying to see what had caused her to fall when she was been so careful

'What rock?' Harry asked looking puzzled

'The one I fell over.' Hermione suddenly grew suspicious, she hadn't seen a rock and there wasn't one there now, Ron had mysteriously disappeared and Harry had been ten metres away the last she had seen, that was a bit too far just to trip. 

'You must be imagining things, you've been studying too hard' Harry said looking concerned for her as she stared intently at him, only he then spoilt the effect by giving a snort of laughter that he tried unsuccessfully to turn into a cough

'This is a set-up isn't it? I thought Ron was acting suspiciously and this is why, you two were planning this pathetic little cop a feel plan' Hermione cried in outrage jabbing her finger at Harry's chest in her anger

'What an outrageous accusation to make, why would I want to do anything like that?' Harry said looking bemused and slightly alarmed, Hermione immediately looked downcast and blushed again feeling stupid

'Of course, I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. I mean Cho or Parvati I might understand but me? You're right that's outrageous'. She didn't notice Harry stare incredulously at her as she muttered an apology, she didn't consider herself beautiful or sexy and still hadn't realised that Harry did. He thought quickly and then decided that he would much rather she knew the truth and hated him than she went on for one more second demeaning herself 

'Hermione stop that this instant, I was joking, of course I was trying to cop a feel, what straight male wouldn't and yes I am making implications about Malfoy in that statement' Harry said firmly with a rather cheeky grin hiding his nervousness that she might hate him. As it happened she could do nothing but stare at him in shock and for reasons unknown to both of them she lent up to kiss him on the cheek before running off to recover. Harry was left staring after her with one hand pressed to his cheek in delight, then such a silly grin spread over his face that any clown would be proud as he realised that Hermione was finally starting to warm to him,

*

*  
*

Cho Chang having just lost the argument with her friends about which one of them should go and get the book they needed to finish their homework from the library was walking the short distance down the corridor from the Ravenclaw common room when she saw an extraordinary sight. Harry Potter in crouching position with his back pressed to the wall was skulking along the corridor stopping every now and then and listening intently before carrying on

'Harry what are you doing?' Cho asked undecided as to whether she should be amused or worried for Harry's sanity

'This might sound crazy but I think somebody's following me' Harry whispered, glancing both ways before he spoke as though something dangerous was after him

'You're right' Cho nodded gravely as she whispered in a similar tone to Harry's

'Really?' Harry asked jumping up in alarm and forgetting to whisper as he thought of all the different killers who might be after him this time

'Yeah, you're crazy' Cho said with a slight giggle

'Not funny, somebody is definitely following me' Harry scowled at Cho in annoyance

'Why do you think that?' she asked trying to be helpful, and trying even harder not to explode with laughter at how funny he looked

'I heard this weird giggling noise behind me outside and got suspicious, so I came inside and I've just walked around in a circle twice and it's still there' Harry explained

'I can't hear anything, are you sure you didn't imagine it?' Cho asked sceptically

'I'm not crazy. Look, walk back outside with me and I'll prove it' Harry said grabbing Cho's arm and giving her little choice in the decision 

'Fine but this better not take long' Cho allowed herself to be dragged along behind Harry as she decided it would at least be more fun than homework to discover if Harry was crazy

*

After about ten minutes wandering around outside Cho was ready to give up but Harry was still listening intently to every sound he heard, suddenly a high pitched giggle broke out followed by a few hurried whispers to be quiet

'There see, did you hear it?' Harry exclaimed in delight trying to be as quiet as possible, which created some weird hoarse sound rather like he was choking

'It could just be some kids behind us' Cho said doubtfully, the younger years all seemed very immature to her

'Only one way to find out. When we turn this corner, follow me' Harry murmured under his breath

'Why?' Cho questioned, not wanting to be pulled into any of Harry's hair-brained schemes, she'd heard all about his adventures in the lower years and had no desire to be part of one

'Just do it. Now. Hide' Harry said as loud as he dared as he turned the corner, grabbed Cho's arm and leapt behind the nearest rose-bush

'What the hell is wrong with you?' Cho asked in an angry whisper as Harry pulled them right inside the bush, luckily it had been charmed as it wasn't prickly, but it was still messing up her clothes and hair

'Shhh' Harry said as he peered out of the branches, and despite herself Cho found she was doing the same thing

'Where did he go?' a girl's voice suddenly asked in confusion

'I thought it was this way' another girl's voice joined her

'Well I can't see him' yet another voice chimed in and all three owners of the voices now came into view as they stopped right in front of the rosebush looking extremely confused, all that Cho could tell about them is that they were from Hufflepuff and looked to be in their second or third year 

'Me neither, we better go and tell the others we've lost him' the first voice spoke again with as sigh of disappointment, Harry looked alarmed at just how many more there might be

'But still, did you see that shirt he was wearing, gorgeous' one of the other girls said extremely appreciatively as the girls voices faded out of hearing range

'Aww you've got yourself a few little fans' Cho looked round at Harry and giggled at the shocked look on his face

'Well how do I get rid of them?' he asked. He'd been prepared to deal with deatheaters, even Voldemort, but not a bunch of schoolgirls

'Give it a few months, it's just a schoolgirl crush' Cho said with a shrug

'Months? You must be joking' he asked desperately, looking as though this was the worst news he'd ever heard

'Nope, just look on the bright side, at least they aren't trying to kill you' Cho pulled a flustered looking Harry out of the bush with her and proceeded to brush leaves off her robes

'Mr Potter, Miss Chang, would you care to explain exactly why you were both in that rose bush?' Professor McGonagall's voice sounded from behind them and they both turned in horror realising that there was no way she would ever believe them; and just to make matters even worse the bunch of small girls, (numbering about 8 in total) came to the end of the path and stared in amazement, jumped to conclusions about what was going on, burst into excited giggles and ran off

'It'll be all over school by dinner' Cho muttered with an annoyed groan, and Harry knew she was right but was far too preoccupied with getting rid of his little fan-group to care

*

*  
*

Running for his life as fast as he could down the corridor, trying to escape the fiend that was chasing him and yelling wildly, he slipped suddenly and crashed into a suit of armour, scrambling to his feet as the monster gained rapidly on him Harry ran up the stairs three at a time and dove through the portrait hole yelling the password to the Fat Lady as he went. Parvati, by now extremely out of breath clambered through seconds after him and looked round eagerly but spotting Harry with Hermione her resolve wavered and she instead opted for a girly giggle about the boy she had being chasing with Lavender

'Moved onto Parvati now? What's Cho done wrong?' Hermione asked dryly while turning a page in her book, she had heard all about the Harry, Cho and the rose bush scene from a hysterical fourth year earlier on and had been less than amused by it

'Huh?' Harry asked looking confused as to what Parvati and now Hermione had been giving him these weird looks for. 'You think Cho and I…' he trailed off in bemusement. 'Oh' suddenly realisation hit Harry. 'That's what this is all about' he snatched Hermione's book away

'Hey I was reading that' Hermione protested trying to snatch the book back but Harry held it firm and just grinned infuriatingly

'You can have it back when we've done, but you and me need to talk about this' Harry said seriously

'Maybe later, Ron's heading this way' Hermione said leaping to a chance to avoid such a conversation as she waved Ron over to them

'Hi' Ron said cheerfully

'Hey' Harry replied just as Parvati and Lavender burst into high-pitched giggles startling the redhead

'What's up with them?' Ron asked, jerking his head towards the two sixth-years who were now discussing the million-galleon question of whether Harry wore boxers or briefs

'They heard that Ernie Macmillan was thinking about stealing Ginny away from Dean' Harry said smoothly without even pausing

'But he's scum. I'll sort this out' Ron said storming out of the common room, as much as he disliked Dean, Ernie would be a hundred times worse. 

Hermione gave Harry a very dirty look.

'What?' Harry protested, 'You hate Macmillan just as much as I do'

'I don't hate him' Hermione said and Harry raised an eyebrow, 'I just intensely dislike him'

'Whatever, now it's just me and you, so we can have that talk'

'Knock yourself out' Hermione offered very dryly

'There was never anything between Cho and I' Harry said and it was Hermione's turn to raise an eyebrow questioningly but she lowered it quickly and felt her anger and doubts disappear when Harry said softly 'I wouldn't lie to you, I'd never lie to you'

*

*  
* 

Rather unusually on her way to the library the next day, she found herself unavoidably detained. She had been passing one of the many cupboards that Hogwarts held, when the door swung open, an arm shot out and Hermione had found herself been dragged into the cupboard, where the flickering light from a candle showed a grinning Harry 

'Oh look, this is just me and you all alone in a small enclosed cupboard' Harry looked around in amusement as though he often met his friends in cupboards and he leaned back against a shelve waiting for Hermione to either kiss him or curse him, he preferred the former but expected the latter

'Another cliché I presume?' Hermione asked very dryly not sounding as thrilled by the situation as most other girls in Hogwarts would have been, indeed not as thrilled as she herself might have been a few weeks ago

'Exactly, I knew there was a reason you were the smart one. So shall we get started?' Harry asked extremely enthusiastically

'Get what started?' Hermione asked. She was slowly backing towards the door, only to find that it had been magically locked when she found the handle 

'Our snogfest of course, although if you'd like to move a step further then I'm up for that as well' Harry grinned and raised his eyebrows so suggestively that Hermione blushed

'Why you little…' she gasped in shock. Just when she thought she had him figured out, he turned into some kind of sex fiend

'There's nothing little about me' Harry said indignantly, thinking that perhaps this plan wasn't the right one to woo a girl like Hermione

'Alhohrarma' Hermione had had enough and whipped her wand out and blasted the door open. She wasn't theoretically against the idea of been alone in a cupboard with Harry, but there was no way she was going to date him while he treated her like some kind of cheap prostitute. She wasn't going to give in to terrible clichés and she wasn't going to give in to a big-headed egotistical guy, no matter how good looking he was

'Damn it, I don't suppose you're free for a trip to the astronomy tower later?' Harry called after her retreating figure, shockingly she didn't look round but instead raised the middle finger of her left hand at him. 'Can I take that as a maybe?' he asked been the optimist he always was

*

*

*

By the next day, and after another series of slaps, rejections and general anger and with the Christmas holidays looming just a week away, Harry had decided that this was it. Time to pull out all the stops, try every single seduction technique he'd ever heard of and spare no expense in the process. Because Hermione was only human, surely she couldn't resist the Harry charm offensive if it lasted for an entire day

*

'Voulez-vous choucher avec moi, ce soir' Harry whispered seductively in Hermione's ear as he took a seat next to her in the common room

'You have 5 seconds to run before I curse you' Hermione said calmly, resisting the strong urge she had to slap him 

'Hmm, so the romantic French words didn't work' Harry pondered aloud in confusion. Ron who had ten minutes earlier taught Harry the words that Fred had taught him had assured him that they meant something extremely romantic

'Romantic? That was proof that romance is dead' Hermione snorted, wondering whatever Harry could come up with to top that debacle of a date invitation

*

'Hermione I have something for you' Harry said with an enormous grin on his face, which matched the enormous present of what was quite possibly the largest bunch of roses in the world that he was holding out to Hermione

If those soaps that Aunt Petunia loved were anything to go by, Hermione should be jumping into his arms proclaiming her undying love at any moment now. Worryingly the look on Hermione's face wasn't one of pure joy, but rather annoyance; Harry wondered if perhaps Hermione wasn't a massive fan of Eastenders. 

'Flowers? 0 points for originality' she drawled taking them from him and simply putting them on the table

'But all girls love flowers and this was the biggest bunch in the shop' Harry spluttered, looking lost and confused. Girls loved flowers, it was a well-known fact, only it was one that somebody had obviously forgotten to tell Hermione

'Did nobody ever tell you that size isn't everything?' Hermione asked with a smirk as she left a confused Harry alone, to try and figure out just what exactly he'd done wrong this time

*  
  


'Why is it dark in here?' Hermione asked Ron who she had just walked into the common room with as she encountered complete darkness

'You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you' a voice sounded and a spotlight suddenly highlighted Harry with a muggle microphone walking down the dormitory stairs singing 

'Harry what are you doing?' Hermione asked in complete bemusement as he reached the bottom of the stairs and walked to towards her

'You'd be like heaven to touch, I want to hold you so much' Harry continued with the song that Dean and Ron had reassured him all girls would love, he's been curious as to Ron's extent of muggle music but had decided it was best not to question it

'Oh God' Hermione groaned as she stepped backwards out of the common room and as Harry dropping his microphone eagerly tried to follow her she pushed him firmly back and said with annoyance in her voice, 'Harry take the hint, I don't want to date you'

It was more than a hint, it was like an unforgivable curse, it completely knocked the stuffing out of him. He'd never allowed for the possibility that she might not give in to him, but he saw it now in her eyes as she walked away from him, she wasn't joking, she wasn't playing hard to get, she was serious. Hermione had no intention of giving in to Harry Potter.

*

The next day the entire school knew what had happened and Hermione was receiving some very dirty looks from many other girls and quite a few boys as well, Draco for once stayed quiet, the memory of his defeat still stung. Harry was pretty much in a daze, Ron tried to pull him out of it, had even apologised for supplying a terrible French chat up line but had received little response, except for a shrug and a mutter that it didn't matter. Harry spent the day in his own world, merely going through the motions, wondering why he felt this terrible, by the evening Harry was wondering the corridors alone having shaken off Ron's company, Hermione was no-where to be seen.

And perhaps in years to come it would be a turning point in his life, where he could look back and confidently say that that had been the moment when his path in life had been altered. But right at that moment all he could think was how he really did feel hurt; he'd heard people say that love could be a killer, but he'd never believed it could hurt like this. It was as though she'd told him he could never play Quidditch again, in fact it was worse than it and with his thoughts still spinning he did the only thing that occurred to him at the moment he passed the main entrance, he walked out into the torrential rain that had arrived to replace the snow.

*

Harry sat down at the base of a tree throwing stones into the lake while the rain beat heavily down around him

'You'll catch pneumonia out here' a voice said, Harry glanced up and saw Cho standing above him. He merely grunted in response before turning back to throwing stones 'catching a serious illness won't solve your problems' Cho spoke again, Harry was surprised as he assumed she'd have long since gone back to the school but didn't show it and even if he had Cho wouldn't have been able to see through the heavy drops of rain

'Worth a try' Harry said sullenly

'It won't work, believe me' Cho said far too cheerfully. Harry merely stared at her as the rain continued to pour, Cho looked up at the sky blinking rapidly as the rain splashed all over her face, 'It should stop soon' she half-muttered

'The rain never stops' Harry said scornfully as he returned his eyes to his own hands

'I didn't mean the rain, I meant the pain, it'll pass with time' Cho said philosophically with her lips curved in a half smile, even in his current state of mind Harry knew better than to question how Cho knew pain but it wouldn't stop him from disputing the claim

'Who said I was pain?' Harry scoffed

'You did. Why else would you be out here?' Cho asked, and Harry for once had no sharp reply ready, no quick comeback because he didn't really know why he was out here. 'Tell me what the problem is, I might be able to help you' Cho offered sincerely as she sat down next to him not even commenting on the fact that the ground was possibly even colder and wetter than been stood up

'I think I've done something really stupid' Harry said with a sigh after he realised that Cho wasn't going to be going anywhere until he talked

'It can't be that bad' Cho said, she had a pretty good idea what he was upset about having heard the rumours about his bust-up with Hermione

'I fell in love with my best friend, I didn't mean to, it just sort of happened' Harry explained, wanting to laugh at how pathetic he sounded

'What's so terrible about that?' Cho patted his shoulder sympathetically

'She doesn't believe me, she thinks I'm just playing some kind of game with her. And maybe to begin with I was just playing, I fancied her, but I didn't love her, but now I do and it's too late I messed it all up' Harry sounded to be drowning in his despair, he hadn't realised he'd loved Hermione until the second she rejected him, and when he'd felt his heart break, that was when he'd known

'I realise that I don't know Hermione that well but from everything I've seen of her, she seems like the kind of girl who'll forgive her best friends anything and never stop trying to help her'

'But she doesn't love me' Harry said again

'I've heard about what you've done and you can't blame her for been suspicious, it was hardly the most romantic plan of the century. But just put that behind you and tell her how you feel' Cho said, she wanted to help Harry, wanted to help him be happy but at the end of the day, her advice would do Harry no good if he ignored her, which she had a strong suspicion he was doing

'I did' Harry said sullenly

'Tell her and mean it. Don't joke around, don't dress it up with presents, just tell her simply and honestly how you feel. I think you might be surprised just how deeply she cares for you' Cho said sincerely, making one last effort to get through to him and at last it worked. Harry paused, cocked his head to one side and thought for a moment

'You're right, I will tell her' he said determinedly with a slight smile on his face

'Good' Cho smiled with relief

'Hey the rain's stopped' Harry said with a laugh of delighted surprise as he jumped up eager not to waste another second

'It always does' Cho said with a knowing smile that had a glimmer of sadness to it as Harry sped back to Hogwarts in search of Hermione

*

The one person who Harry didn't want to see at the moment when he had finally figured out why Hermione wouldn't date him was Malfoy, and so that explained why he was now stood blocking Harry's way down to the library flanked by his two goons

'Potter I hear you have girl problems' Draco drawled looking extremely pleased with himself, despite the fact that Harry had wiped the floor with him without breaking a sweat when they had duelled.

Harry remembering that Hermione was much more important than Malfoy would ever be glared ferociously at the Slytherins

'Malfoy I hear you are a girl' he retorted sharply leaving no time for any reply as he pushed passed, missing the look of complete and utter confusion that passed over Draco's face, as he tried to come up with any kind of reply, and failed 

*

'Harry where have you been? You're soaking through' Hermione asked in amazement as Harry burst into the library, she hadn't spoken to him for almost a day and had missed him more than she had thought possible

'No time to explain, I have to talk to you' Harry panted, out of breath from his run

'You are doing' 

'Just come with me' Harry pleaded, pulling her arm in frustration

'Ok, ok' Hermione said as she followed Harry into a nearby deserted corridor

'I'd like to ask you on a date with me' Harry began in earnest

'Harry…' Hermione tried to interrupt looking terrified as to what stunt he might be about to try

'Please let me finish. I know I've changed a lot over this last year and I know not all the changes have been for the best, but for as long as I draw breath I swear that I'll love you. It doesn't matter if I wear glasses or I don't, if I'm in the muggle world or the wizarding one, if I win duels or lose them; I'll keep on loving you. You can reject me right now and I'll still love you, you're everything to me, I don't want to imagine a future without you by my side. I won't promise you that dating me will be easy, but please give me the chance to try and make us both happy' 

'I didn't expect that' Hermione admitted looking torn, she had seen how much Harry had meant what he said

'You don't have to answer now; you can have as much time as you need to think about it. I don't expect you to jump into bed with me, I don't expect you to kiss you, I don't even expect you to hug me, I'm just asking for one date' Harry interrupted her thoughts looking so sweet and innocent that she knew she only had one option

'All you ever had to do was ask' Hermione said with a slight smile of apprehension that this could yet turn out to be a joke or a dream

'Is that a yes?' Harry asked barely daring to hope, not even mentioning that he was fairly sure he had asked, and on more than one occasion as well

'Yes it's a yes' Hermione answered

'We can take things slow, I'm going to do things right, we can date at restaurants, I'll treat you with the respect you deserve, I'm going to love you more than you ever thought was possible, I'll prove my love to you' Harry said determinedly, all his good intentions pilling out at once, as he looked rather elated but scared that she had finally said yes

'Harry?' Hermione's voice interrupted him

'Yeah' he asked 

'Stop rambling and kiss me' Hermione said quietly with a sly grin on her face as she waited for Harry's reaction

'Huh?' Harry stuttered looking so bemused and terrified, that it was hard to believe that only a month ago this same young man had being drinking illegal potions, threatening the dark lord and pushing everyone around

'I've waited far too long, I'm not waiting another moment' Hermione said simply, as she reached up to Harry's disbelieving face and paused for only a fraction of a second before pressing her lip to his. There was no first kiss nerves, no hesitation or regrets, no thoughts of anything expect for the person in front of them; for in that moment for perhaps the first and only time of either of their lives, they had finally found a moment in time when they felt nothing except pure joy. 

*  
*  
*

Tyranny – As I hope this chapter shows, I don't hate Cho. I do love H/H, but that doesn't mean that Cho should be portrayed as some sort of evil boyfriend-stealing slut as she is in so many stories (erm, if you ever read any stories of mine where she's like this, that's a completely different matter *nervous laughter*)

lol - Thank you for the many reviews

Sara Minks - The world is my oyster? Hmm interesting, possibly a problem that I'm allergic to seafood, do you think that means the world will kill me?

Mogliecat – See, happy H/H, hope you liked it

Stoneheart – I expect the duel wasn't everything you hoped for and you have my apologies. As always thanks for your comments, they're always very much appreciated

PonoKyunin – I think I probably annoyed a few people with my shameless begging for reviews. And I honestly do write because I enjoy it and I also know a lot of the spelling is wrong, I hope it doesn't spoil the story too much, I should probably get a beta-reader for this story, I just never got round to it. Thanks for the review

Xirleb70 – Cheers

Sailorstargirl13 – Thank you very much, your review was lovely. I hope you enjoyed this chapter

Emely – I agree with everything you said, Harry wasn't showing Hermione enough respect or appreciation, I tried to remedy that somewhat in this chapter

Oddballjd – Interesting idea, but I wanted to get all the different ways Harry tries to get Hermione to date him into the chapter so I couldn't really incorporate it

Sunny – Thank you for your reviews. I got the feeling that this story isn't playing out exactly the way you'd like. But I couldn't keep Harry as he was forever, it just wasn't possible. But Harry most definitely isn't going after Cho, she's just there to be a friend to Harry in a position where I felt Ron wouldn't know what to say and obviously he couldn't ask Hermione. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter and I hope you keep reading

Big thanks to all my other lovely reviewers, I wish I could reply individually to you all, but I have revision and coursework to do as well, but thank you very much to Nicole, Fatima, GoddessMoonLady, HrryPttrfreak87, Leah, Daine, Sugar Quill, All Mighty Terrestrial, Liedariddle, Silver Dragon Princess, Becca the crazo, sil 

  
A/N: I get the feeling that that chapter, which was originally going to be the last for this story wasn't quite what you might have expected.

I apologise for the duel scene which I played up for a number of chapters and then ended rather quickly, there is in fact another completely different version of that duel featuring a much eviler Harry that if anyone would like to read, I'll gladly e-mail to them. But I just felt that for Harry to turn really bad again (even if it was in a duel) would undermine the previous chapters work in trying to make him more peaceful and balanced, maybe I was mistaken, but that was the theory behind it.

Well hopefully that chapter might keep you going for a while, it wasn't the last chapter but I think it's getting pretty close, Harry and Hermione are together now, Harry is gradually becoming more and more like the cannon version. I do have a few possibilities in my head for further chapters prominently involving Sirius, Pettigrew and Voldemort but give my feedback on whether you think I should just do one big happy final chapter (probably Christmassy) and finish it or persevere with new avenues of plot (while still involving the trio, H/H and all that)

PLEASE REVIEW


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